


Ten Years Later

by Mcdanno_raf



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Jealousy, M/M, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2019-10-18 20:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17587523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcdanno_raf/pseuds/Mcdanno_raf
Summary: TJ and Cyrus never really dated when they were younger. If every once in a while, when they were alone, they would kiss and cuddle it didn’t mean anything.After high school they kind of lost touch.Now, ten years later, Cyrus gets an invitation to TJ’s wedding.





	1. Wedding Invitations

**“TJ + Emma invite you to celebrate their wedding day.**

**Saturday, august 23rd 2028 at four in the evening in the church of Shadyside.**

**Dinner and dancing to follow“**

Cyrus had been looking at that paper for about 10 minutes now. He couldn’t belive what his eyes were seeing. TJ was getting married? He hadn’t seen the guy in years and they barely talk anymore, he didn’t even know TJ had a girlfriend. Turns out he has a fioncé and they’re getting married in two months. Cyrus was also suprised that the wedding would be in Shadyside, from what he knows TJ is almost never here, he lives somewhere else with his soon to be wife.

The buzzing of his phone makes him drift his eyes from the invite he’s holding. It’s his best friend calling.

“Did you get it too? Can you belive this? The question is, why were we invited?” Buffy must be spending a lot of time with Andi lately because it seemed more like her talking than Buffy.

What was he supposed to say? He was just as confused as her.

“Cyrus, are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry Buffy. Yes, I got it to. Also, I don’t it that hard to belive, we’re 28 years old, it’s about time we start getting married, besides it’s TJ, I’m not suprised he’s the first one of us to get married. As to why we got invited, I have no idea, over the last ten years I probably saw him 2 or 3 times and exchanged texts once every 2 or 3 years, I don’t really get it”

It was very sudden the way their friendship changed, one minute they were inseperable, the other they barely spoke. It was a silent mutual decisionn. They thought it would be better that way.

“Hold up, Andi’s calling, I’m going to add her to our call” No matter how many years pass or if they don’t see each other everyday, the Good Hair Crew never grew apart and Cyrus was so thankful for that.

“OMG guys, is this some kind of prank? I knew the day our friends would get married would come but I still wasn’t ready for it. Also, I didn’t even knew TJ was dating someone, did you know about this Cy?” Andi, always the dramatic one.

“No, I did not know, which is why I find it weird that we were invited in the first place”

They talked some more about the wedding then about their careers. Andi was an Art Major, with her creativity it was obvious she would be. She had succeeded in life, she had a bunch of her work spread around the world in museums and stuff like that. Buffy became a professional Basketball player, she was that good. Everyone was very proud of her. Cyrus was an elementary school teacher. He loved working with kids and teaching so even though a lot of people would think he hated his job, he actually loved it a lot, but working with kids was hard, it could make him very tired sometimes. Summer break had just started so he had some time to relax.

After deciding to meet at The Spoon this weekend everyone hang up.

No matter how hard he tried, Cyrus couldn’t stop thinking about this wedding. One more promise TJ broke.

_*13 Years ago (they were 15 years old)*_

_TJ and Cyrus were cuddling on TJ’s sofa watching ‘say yes to the dress’._

_“When do you want to get merried?” Cyrus asked, genualy curious._

_“I don’t know underdog, I think that’s the kind of stuff you don’t plan ahead”_

_“Yeah, you’re right”_

_“But I promise you. When I do decide to get merried, you’ll be the first to know”_

* * *

Cyrus smiles at the memory, they were so innocent at the time, they had no clue what life was going to do to them.

It’s getting late nut Cyrus hasn’t even eaten yet. He doesn’t feel like cooking so he orders a pizza.

Before he changes his mind he decides to text TJ.

 

**From: Cyrus To: Not So Scary Basketball Guy**

**‘Just got your invintation. Congratulations.’**

 

There was a knock on the door. It was the pizza guy. He paid and went back to the living room. He turned on the tv, a movie he hadn’t seen yet was playing. When he checked his phone he had a new message.

 

**From: Not So Scary Basketball Guy**

**’Thanks bro’**

 

Cyrus rolled his eyes, locked his phone and tried to pay attention to the movie.

 

* * *

TJ’s POV A couple days earlier

TJ met Emma 4 years ago, they started dating 3 and a half years ago and have been engaged for almost half a year now. TJ loved her, he really did. But he wasn’t sure she was the one. But he had dated other girls before and needer seemed like the one either so maybe he was just nervous because the wedding was getting so close.

Right now they were making the final list of people to invite to the wedding. They were almost done. Emma’s part of the guests was done. TJ had already put his family and close friends but something was missing and he knew what it was. His old (and real) friends and him. So after making the last minute decision to invite them, he wrote down their names.

_Andi Mack_

_Buffy Driscoll  
_

_Marty (from the party)_

_Jonah Beck_

_Cyrus Goodman_

“Who are these people?” Emma asked.

“They’re my friends” she makes a weird face but doesn’t say anything. She thought she knew all of his friends, turns out she doesn’t. And that bothers Emma a bit, because TJ has never hide anything from her, so what was it about these friends in specific that he felt the need to hide them.

TJ doesn’t know how they ended up deciding that they were going to get merried in shadyside. Emma said something about him never taking her there and how she wanted to know more about the place he grew up so what better way to do that then getting merried there.

After making sure they had everybody on the list they finally sent the invitations.

A few days later, TJ and Emma are watching ‘Pride and Prejudice’ when he gets a text.

 

**From: Underdog**

**’Just got your invitation. Congratulations’**

 

TJ looks at the text for a while not knowing what to say. This is the first text he gets from Cyrus in a year and even in a text he can sound so distante, it actually hurts.

“Who is it babe?”

“Oh, just another person congratulating us on the wedding” not a lie, but not exactly the truth either.

 

**From: TJ To: Underdog**

**’Thanks bro’**

 

TJ know, actually everybody knows, that Cyrus hates being called bro, especially if it’s TJ who calls him that.

 

_*14 years ago(they were 14 years old) *_

_“I just don’t get it. Why do boys keep calling Bro’s to each other. It’s getting annoying. Bro this, bro that. Hey bro, how about you shut up?” TJ loved to hear Cyrus rant about things he hated. He was so passionate about it._

_“Chill bro, it’s just something bro’s do”_

_“Fisrt of all, we’re not bro’s. Second of all, call me bro again and I will kill you”_

* * *

TJ had a smirk on his face knowing that that text had earned him an eye roll from Cyrus.

And it’s not until half an hour later that his phone vibrates again.

 

**From: Underdog**

**’You’re a jerk’**

 

TJ is trying his hardest not to laugh out loud. He wasn’t expecting an answer especially not this one. But then the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that maybe that wasn’t an answer to his last text but more like a statement. Because TJ was a jerk and had been one for 10 years now.

 

**From: TJ To: Underdog**

**’I’m sorry’**


	2. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, first of all thanks for the feedback on chapter 1.  
> about this chapter, I don't know how college works and what majors they have or not.  
> Also, Cyrus took two majors, one so that he could teach and the english one.  
> I also don't know anything about basketball, so this is all wrong.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy

**From: Not So Scary Baskteball Guy**

**’I’m sorry’**

Cyrus re-read that text 40 times and he still couldn’t understand what he meant. When he sent the text calling TJ a jerk, he meant about the bro thing but also about everything else. Throughout the years they’ve been apart neither ever apologized, maybe because they thought there was nothing to apologize for. Cyrus knew the moment they got accepted into different colleges that this would happen.

Not that their friendship wasn’t strong enough to handle the distance, it was. But maybe the feelings were also strong enough and maybe they weren’t ready to face those feelings.

 

_10 years ago (they were 18)_

_“I got into Harvard” Cyrus was ecstatic, to say the least. He had been waiting for this moment his entire life._

_“I got in UCLA” TJ was just as happy as his best friend, but then something changed on his face._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing, I was just thinking how much things are going to change in a few months” Cyrus knew what he meant. After summer they would say ‘goodbye’, not a ‘see you later’ or ‘we’ll see each other around’ , they would say goodbye. They had been dancing around their feelings for years. Right now they were laying in Cyrus’ bed wrapped around each other. They were used to being like this when they were alone, but never in public, and they never labeled it. TJ was confused about his feelings and somehow Cyrus knew that he would never admit, not even to himself, that he liked Cyrus. And Cyrus had accepted that, he never really told TJ he liked him either, and he wasn’t going to._

_“Stop overthinking”_

_“I can’t. Distract me” and so he does, he kisses him, as he has never kissed him before, which ends up in a big make-out session. Cyrus wished this would happen forever but he wasn’t that stupid. He knew this was an early goodbye._

* * *

“So, are you going?” his mom asks him the next day. TJ had sent the invitation to his moms house because he didn’t know his current address.

“Yeah, I’m going. No matter how distant we are right now, TJ will always be my best friend. Besides Andi and Buffy are going to” Not going to the wedding was never an option.

“I think that’s a wise decision. Now that you’ve mentioned it, when are you going to see Buffy and Andi?”

“Well, Andi is coming back tomorrow from Europe and Buffy has the last game of the season in two days, so she’ll be back after that” Cyrus was so excited to see them again, it felt like it was forever ago when he last saw them, even if it was only a couple of months.

Cyrus never told them about what had been going on with him and TJ when they were younger. Of course, everyone knew they had a special friendship and they knew Cyrus had feelings for the other boy, but what happened when they were alone, stayed with them and only them, and if anyone suspected anything they never said a word about it. He thought about it, telling the girls, but he always ended up deciding not to.

He had lunch with his mom and then decided to go for a walk around the small town that he only left for college and then came back to start teaching.

If he was being honest what he really wanted was to be an author, he had majored in English, he could be teaching in a high school, middle-school even, but he was way to terrified of teenagers. Not a lot had changed in all these years, there were a lot of things he still was scared to do.

He found himself standing in the playground.

_15 years ago (they were 13)_

_“chocolate-chocolate chip muffin right?”_

_“scary basketball guy”_

_“actually, TJ”_

_“I know, Cyrus”_

* * *

Cyrus mind went  back to the day he first felt something towards TJ. It wasn’t even a crush then. It was the first time he thought he and TJ could be friends.

Back at home Cyrus felt lonely. It tended to happen a lot in the summertime, it was when he had more time to think. He needed to go out more, meet new people. He had gone out with a few people but it never felt right.

Right now he was just counting down the days to be with Andi and Buffy again.

* * *

Buffy’s POV

Two days later

Gameday..

Buffy hadn’t stop thinking about the wedding ever sinse she got the invitation. Not because of the wedding itself but because she was wondering how Cyrus must be feeling. He had been in love with TJ ever sinse they became friends. He said he was over it after they left for college but she knew better.

“Hey, Driscoll, ready for our last game? We’re going to smash it” Kira. She did get a better attitude and in college, she and Buffy became roommates and later on Teammates. Buffy was still team captain, something Kira wasn’t very fond of in the beginning but figured out fast that it was the best for the team.

“You know I’m always ready” They’re playing against The Rapters. Oh god, isn’t that TJ’s team?

And just when she realizes it The Rapters arrive and she sees the familiar face.

* * *

TJ’s POV

Is that? Has he been that distracted, he didn’t realize they were playing against her Team?

“Hey Driscoll, ready to lose?”

“You wish Kippen, you know I’m going to beat you”

“Only in your dreams” she won a one on one once and now she thinks she can beat them. He knows she could but this isn’t high school anymore and he wants and needs to win.

Tj walks away with a smirk and joins his team.

“Since when are you friends with the enemy?” Todd, a teammate, asked. he was kind of a jerk.

“Just because we’re playing against them doesn’t mean we have to be stupid”

“oh C'mon! They’re a girls team! Why are we even playing against them on a final?”

“Because they’re that good. Those girls could kick your ass anytime.”

“Why are you defending them?” He felt the need to protect Buffy. Their friendship had been complicated at first but after he and Cyrus became best friends she gave him a chance and they actually became,good friends.

“Because you’re being a dick for no reason! Now focus, we have a game to win and it won’t be as easy as you think.”

He was right. It wasn’t being an easy game. They were tied and on the last 30 seconds to end the game.

“I’m going to win” Buffy tells TJ. They’re right in front of each other and TJ thinks he might be having a Deja Vu.

“The game’s not over yet”

“Yes it is” and just like last time Buffy smoothly passes through TJ and scores and the game ends.

“Nice game Driscoll”

“Thanks! And this time, everyone is going to know I beat you” she’s going to brag so much about this, she always does. Last time it took months for her to stop telling him every day she had won. Anyway, TJ had missed playing with and against her. There was always a different rush, they pushed each other to the limit.

After some press and a couple of interviews, TJ showered and changed into some comfy clothes.

He was about to leave when he heard Buffy calling after him.

“Hey, what’s up? Came to gloat one more time?” in usual games, he would be bitter for losing but not this time.

“Not really. I just wanted to say congratulations.” congratulations? He had lost the game, what was she congratulating him for?

“What for?”

“The Wedding” oh yeah the wedding, he had completely forgotten about that.

“Oh, thanks. You’re coming right?” If she came, that meant the rest of the crew was coming to.

“You know we wouldn’t miss it” That makes him feel better, he’s glad they’re all going to be there on the big day.

“That’s very good to know. Well, I have to go now. I’ll see you around.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey babe, how was the game?” Emma doesn’t really care. If she really did she would have gone with him and cheer for him, which she never does. But TJ doesn’t blame her, not everyone must be into Basketball.

“It was a very good game but we lost”

“Oh honey, I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. Hey, I was thinking of going to visit my parents for a while, what do you think?” He hadn’t seen his parents in a while and Amber was also back from her dance tour so he really wanted to see them. Also seeing Buffy again and that little texting with Cyrus…He needed to go back home.

“I would love to but I have an audition tomorrow and another one in a couple of days.” Emma was unemployed. She had majored in acting in college and had done a couple of minor roles, not enough for people to know her all that much, so she goes to every audition to try and get a job. And if that’s what she loves then she has TJ’s full support.

“How about this, I’ll go tomorrow morning and when you’re done with your auditions, you’ll join me. sounds good?”

“Yeah, it sounds perfect” They kiss, eat some dinner and get ready for bed.

 

Cyrus’ POV

The next day

Cyrus woke up feeling happier than ever. The Good Hair Crew reunion was finally happening today.

They were meeting at the spoon at 9 o’clock. It was currently 8:30. Cyrus took a shower, picked up a nice outfit and got on his way.

When he was reaching The Spoon he could already see Buffy’s curly hair.

“OMG hey!” They hugged for a very long time.

“I missed you so much, Cyrus”

Cyrus was about to answer when he heard someone running towards them.

“Don’t start hugging without me you losers” They group hugged and got in. They ordered some baby taters and milkshakes. They made small talk until Andi and Buffy start staring at him.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No”

“Then what?”

“So, what do you think about the wedding?” Andi finally said.

“So, we’re going to talk about that. Again? I mean, I would like to hear all about Europe and how Buffy’s game went last night. I don’t really feel like talking about that anymore.”

And as the good friends they are, Andi starts going on and on about her favorite places, foods, monuments, and Cyrus really wants to travel the world just by hearing what she has to say about it.

“What about you Buffy? I know you won, but how was the game?” Andi asked when she had nothing else to say about her traveling. Cyrus had to be honest, he hadn’t been paying a lot of attention to social media and sports and all that, so he didn’t even know Buffy had won, he was feeling like a bad friend.

“The game was awesome, it felt like playing in middle school and high school all over again”

“Why do you say that?” Cyrys asked.

“I was playing against The Rapters, TJ’s team” Cyrus doesn’t say anything so Buffy goes on “Remember that one time you were trying to make me go back to the boys basketball team? It was just like that, I won, again” Cyrus continues without saying a word so Buffy says something that she knows will take him out of his trance.“He asked if you were going to the wedding” now this gets a reaction from him.

“He did?”

“I mean, he asked if I was going but I know he was trying to know if you were”

Cyrus then changes the subject and they spend all morning sitting there, just talking. But they don’t leave until Cyrus gives a Tater Theatre show.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night Cyrus couldn’t fall asleep so he went for a jog. He still wasn't very a very athletic guy but he had a new found love for jogging. He put his headphones on and started doing his usual track. It was on the other side of the small town, through Jonah’s old house and TJ’s parents home and ending at the swings. He always ends up there, it’s not even funny. sometimes it’s like his feet have a life of their own.

He sat down on the swing, listening to music. ‘Loved You First’ by One Direction was playing. Ironic.

He then takes his headphones off, just enjoying the summer night.

“Hey underdog” Cyrus doesn’t dare look back, he knows this voice way to well, it hasn’t changed all that much. He’s been longing to hear this voice so close to him again.

“Hi, TJ, what are you doing here?” and now he finally turns to look at the boy he once called a best friend. It’s the first time he’s face to face with him in 10 years. He looks beautiful, he hasn’t changed a lot, the facial features were the same and the nose freckles were still there.

“I couldn’t sleep”

“I don’t mean here at the playground, I mean here in Shadyside.”

“I came to visit my family” They stay quiet for a while until TJ decides to speak up again. “You couldn’t sleep either?” Cyrus can’t tell if it’s a question or a statement but it didn’t really matter. He needed to get out of here.

“Yeah, but I’m actually very tired right now” Cyrus can’t bear to look at TJ anymore. Every time he does, a thousand memories pop to his head and he really doesn’t need that right now.

He gets up from the swing and starts walking away.

“I miss you” he hears TJ say.

“I miss you too” he says it so low he’s not sure TJ heard it. And then he just leaves.


	3. Awkward Dinners

TJ’s POV

TJ had had the best day. He had spent the day with his parents and his sister. But now in the night time, sleeping in his old room where so much stuff had happened, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He tossed and turned but nothing worked out so he decided to go out for a walk. He left without a destination but soon enough found himself through a familiar path.

_15 years ago (they were 13)_

_“Is that swing taken?” TJ had been so nervous to approach Cyrus that day, but his chance to talk to him was finally here so he nedded to take it._

_“How’d you know I’d be here?”_

_“I’ve been stopping by, seeing if I could catch you without your bodyguards”_

_“I’m not supposed to hang out with you” TJ knew he had messed up but technically it wasn’t his fault. “I should go”_

_“No. Stay, I’ll go. Can I at least say I’m sorry first?”_ _The only response he gets is a shrug of shoulders, he takes that as a yes. “I didn’t know Reed was going to bring a gun” He starts saying “I wouldn’t have gone and I definetly wouldn’t have brought you. Now you hate me.” He didn’t want to lose the best friend he has ever had. “Classic TJ, anything good I got to ruin it”_

_Cyrus doesn’t say anything so he starts walking away._

_“TJ” Cyrus calls out. TJ turns to look at him. “You said you were going to apoligozige” What had he just done?_

_“I just did”_

_“Actually you didn’t”_

_“Yes I did, I said I wa- huh, you’re right. Sorry for not saying sorry”_

_“So, you’ve apologized for not apologizing, but you still haven’t apologized” couldn’t he let this go?_

_“You can be a little annoying you know that?” TJ says stepping forward, standing close to Cyrus._

_“Well, you can be oblivious” Cyrus fires back. And now they were standing even close together. face to face._

_“Well, you can be very judgy”_

_“Well, you can be intimidating” They were standing way to close now and TJ felt the urge to kiss Cyrus. He didn’t know why, lately he had been feeling different about his friend but had never been like this. Instead of acting on his urge he says:_

_“You know what else you are?”_

_“What?”_

_“The only person I can talk to like this.” Cyrus offers him a beautiful smile. “Okay if I stay?”_

* * *

Once he reaches the playground he sees someone already sitting on one swing. Once he gets closer he sees the person he’s been wanting to see for a while.

“Hey underdog” Is all he manages to say.

Cyrus doesn’t look at him but says:

“Hi, TJ, what are you doing here?” He doesn’t sound as happy as TJ would like him to be, but what did he expect?

“I couldn’t sleep” The thoughts of you and me kept haunting my mind, he adds to himself. What was wrong with him? He was getting married, to a women he loved. Then why couldn’t he stop thinking about Cyrus? Maybe it was because he hadn’t seen him in a very long time, and they were best friends so Cyrus will always be important to him, that is all. At least that’s what he tries to tell himself.

“I don’t mean here at the playground. I mean here in Shadyside” wow…was Cyrus that upset that TJ’s here? He knew things had changed a lot in all these years but he thought they were in a good place.

“I came to visit my family.” After a silent moment TJ decides to ask “You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Yeah, but I’m actually very tired right now” TJ decides not to push it anymore, it’s obvious that Cyrus doesn’t want to talk to him right now. Cyrus gets up from the swing and starts walking away.

“I miss you”

For a moment TJ thought he wasn’t going to get an answer, until he heard Cyrus mumble “I miss you too”

TJ stays there for a while longer until he decides to leave. He falls asleep that night with a frown on his face.

* * *

TJ wakes up with a text from Emma.

 

**From: Emma <3**

**’Hey babe, how is everything going? I have an audition in a couple of days but I think I can join you next week, what do you think?’**

 

**From: TJ To: Emma <3**

**’Hi love. Everything’s good here, I’m missing you. Good luck with your audition. Can’t wait to see you’**

While sending the text, TJ’s mind goes back to last night. Cyrus sounded so hurt and distant and TJ couldn’t stand it.

He went downstairs to have some breakfast and everyone was already there.

“Hello honey, did you sleep well?” his mom asked.

“Yes” he lies. He just got back, he doesn’t want to worry anyone.

“Are you sure little bro? I heard you leaving late at night.” He loved Amber, he really did, and he had missed her the most, but she could be so annoying.

“Yeah, at first I was having some trouble falling asleep so I went for a walk. But when I came back I slept like a baby” Amber made him a face that said ‘yeah, right’ but his parents seemed convinced.

“That’s great sweetheart, hey, could you and your sister do me a favor?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Could you go to the grocery store for me? I already have the list with all the things I need” Amber was already shaking her head no, but TJ had nothing better to do so why not?

“Sure mom”

* * *

“Huh, why do we have to do this?” TJ couldn’t stand Amber anymore, she hadn’t stopped complaining ever since they left the house.

“Because mom asked us to. If you don’t want to you can leave, you’d be doing my ears a favor”

“Wow TJ, always the nice one”

“Sorry I’m in a bad mood” Tj didn’t know why he was feeling like this. He was back home, he should be the happiest, then why wasn’t he?

“Maybe it’s because you barely slept last night?” He knew she wouldn’t let this go. Amber’s room was right next to TJ’s and the walls were very thin.

“I saw Cyrus last night” Amber almost drops the box of cereals she’s holding.

“I take it, it didn’t go well”

“He hates me” He says in a sight.

“No he doesn’t. He adores you, he always has”

“You didn’t see it Amber, you weren’t there. It was bad” She was about to say Something when someone taps on TJ’s shoulders.

“TJ Kippen? Is that you?

TJ turns to see who it is.

“Mrs. Goodman! It’s so nice to see you! You look good.”

“Oh dear, you know you can call me Leslie. And thank you, it’s so nice to see you too, how have you been?” TJ always had a great relationship with Cyrus’ family, even more with his mom.

“I’m great, what about you and Todd?”

“We’ve been good too, sweety why don’t you come over for dinner? Amber, sweetheart, you can come too”

“No, thank you, Dr.Goodman, I’m having dinner with Iris”

“It’s okay, what about you TJ?” He’s not sure what to say. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go, he just doesn’t know if cyrus is going to like the idea of TJ having dinner with his parents.

“I don’t know…”

“Oh c’mon. Cyrus will be happy to see you” he wasn’t so sure about that but Cyrus would be there so, maybe he would go. But what if Cyrus gets mad at him for going?

“Of course he’s going Dr.Goodman” Amber answers for him. He’s going to kill her.

“That’s great. I’ll do your favorite”. They said their goodbyes and continued shopping.

“I’m going to kill you” He tells Amber.

“You can thank me later little brother.”

* * *

Cyrus’ POV

They were all sitting at Andishack when Cyrus’ phone started ringing.

“Hi, mom, what’s up? Actually yes I have, I was going to have dinner at Celia’s. Oh okay, is something up? Okay, I’ll see you later” well, that was odd.

“Is everything okay?” Andi asks.

“I guess. My mom says she really needs me to have dinner with her and Todd tonight. She plotting something, she had the ‘I know something you don’t’ voice on”

“Speaking of that, what do you know that we don’t that’s been bugging you all day? Buffy asks. Cyrus starts getting nervous. It’s not like he was trying to hide it from them, it’s just that he didn’t know how to just put it out there in a conversation.

“Nothing much…”

“Nothing much is definitely something” Andi pushes.

“TJ’s back” he says in no more than a whisper.

“no way” Andi gasps.

“How do you know?” Buffy asks at the same time.

“I saw him last night at the swings”

Now both girls gasp.

“Really?”

“How was it?”

“It was awfull, I wasn’t expecting him to just show up so I was very cold and I didn’t know what to do so I just left”

“Oh Cy, are you okay?” the girls were looking at him with concerned faces. Was he okay? Yes he was okay. He had been okay all this time. He just…last night he felt like he was a kid all over again. Burried feelings came crushing back in and he just didn’t know what to do.

“Yeah…there’s something else”

“What?”

“When I was leaving, he said he missed me”

“Oh”

“My”

“GOD”

Wow, his best friends really were Drama Queens.

“What did you say?” Andi asked. They were acting like this was very romantic, but it really wasn’t. TJ was getting married. The only person he ever truly loved was engaged to somebody else. It wasn’t just because TJ said he missed him that anything was going to change. He was telling the boy that used to be his best friend that he missed him, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Well, I said I missed him too, because I do. And then I left, just like that, without looking back”

He used to look back all the time, Amber used to say that’s how you know somebody likes, if they look back at you. Cyrus wasn’t so sure anymore.

“So, anyway it doesn’t matter. It was nothing. Now I have to go home and get changed, my mom said she wanted me to wear something fancy, let’s see what she has planned out”

“Text us if you need rescue” Buffy assures him.

“I will, talk to you later, love you guys”

“Love you too!” both girls chanted, He doesn’t know what he would do if he didn’t had them in his life.

He went home and changed into some fancy clothes like his mom asked to, nothing to formal though.

When he walked in in his mother’s house, she had a smile so wide on her face.

“There’s a suprise for you upstairs” is all she lets him know.

“A suprise?”

“Yes, a suprise. Go!”

He then goes upstairs and sees that the door of his bedroom is a little open when it’s often closed.

He gets closer and sees a tall figure close to his bed. Could it be…?

“What are you doing here?”

“Is there anything else you have to say to me, that line is already overrated” Cyrus can’t help but smile.

“Sorry, I guess I just wasn’t used to having you around anymore. Let me guess, my mom invited you for dinner? How did she even knew you were here?”

“I guess I deserved that. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to stay in touch-” He starts by saying but Cyrus is not ready for this conversation.

“No, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about that” It was not okay, but Cyrus was not going to act like it was all TJ’s fault.

“Okay…to answer your questions, yes, your mom invited me for dinner and she saw me and Amber at the grocery store this morning, that’s how she knew I was back”

“Amber? Amber’s back too? Why isn’t she here with you? my mom didn’t invite her? I’m going to text her and tell her to come. Omg I miss her so much” TJ starts laughing which makes Cyrus look at him with a ‘what?’ face.

“Nothing, nothing” he says putting his hands in the air like someone does when is caught by the police “it’s just that I missed the way you talk so fast and make a bunch of questions all at once, some things never change” Cyrus can’t help but smile. He also misses the times when it was easy for them to be near each other, he hated how he was feeling right now. It was like being with a stranger, but a stranger that you have a lot of good memories with so it was just weird, it was like suddenly Cyrus didn’t know what to do anymore and he hated feeling like this. “And to answer your question about Amber, she was invited too but she already had plans with Iris”

“With Iris? Are they like a thing or?” Amber had come out to Cyrus as Bi a long time ago but he never saw her with Iris like that.

“Oh no, they’re just best friends”

“Oh yeah, makes sense. Well, we should go downstairs, dinner must be almost ready”

To say this dinner was awkward was an understatement. Cyrus mom and stepdad were just asking questions about TJ’s life and he knew the worst part wasn’t even here yet but about to happen.

“So TJ, I guess congratulations are incoming, you’re getting married!” yep, here it is. Also, Cyrus’ mom happiness about this was a little to forced to be honest.

“Yeah, I am. I’m very happy” He sounded happy, but something was off. Cyrus wished he could just ask him what was wrong, but he couldn’t.

“So, Emma right? How did you two meet?” Cyrus wishes he could disappear.

“Yeah, we met 4 years ago. I was with the team at a bar celebrating another victory and she was there, but she looked sad, so I went and talked to her, I asked why was a girl so pretty like her looking so sad and I guess things just went from there on” cute.

“What about you Cy? Are you seeing anyone?” wow, wasn’t expecting that one.

“Hum…no, not right now”

“Right now? I don’t think you ever presented us to anyone” thanks Todd, for making this conversation even more awkward.

“Just because you don’t meet them doesn’t mean they don’t exist” This was true. Cyrus had yet to have a serious boyfriend in his life but he met other guys, had gone on a few dates, fooled around a little, he just never met someone who was worth meeting his family. At the silence of everyone at the table Cyrus speaks up again, but he’s going to regret making this question, he just knows it, but does it anyway. “So, TJ, when did you know that Emma was the one?”

TJ seems caught off guard by the question and Cyrus can’t tell if it’s because he was the one to make the question or if TJ just doesn’t have an answer to this question in particular.

“Hum…I don’t know, I guess I just knew”

* * *

TJ’s POV

 

TJ has been standing in front of Cyrus’ parents house for at least 5 minutes now and he is just to nervous to knock. It’s weird being back at this house, probably even more than being back at his old house, just because he and Cyrus used to spend so much time here, either by themselves or with the rest of the group.

He finally mans up and knocks on the door.

“Hey there TJ, come in. Cyrus isn’t here yet but make yourself at home” That wouldn’t be very hard to do, the moment he walked in he could see everything was pretty much exactly the way he remembered.

“Hey Todd, nice to see you” he gives the man a hand shake.

“You too TJ, it’s been a hot minute”

“It sure has”

He goes to the living room and sits on the couch not before asking if they needed help with anything. He stays there for a while but he seems to not be able to stop moving.

Before he can stop himself he’s upstairs going to Cyrus old room. He looks around and nothing has changed.

_12 years ago (16 years old)_

_“C’mon Cyrus, let’s do something, I’m bored!!” TJ whined, he wanted to do something else he just wasn’t sure what. The movie they were watching was boring._

_“What else do you wanna do? It’s raining outside and my mom has clients downstairs so just pay attention to the movie” They were watching ‘The Fault In Our Stars’ for the milionth time._

_After a few moments of TJ trying to pay attention to what was going on on the computer screen he gives up and starts tickling Cyrus._

_“Oh my god, stop” he doesn’t. So Cyrus puts the computer aside and they begin the tickle battle. Cyrus was winning, he was on top of TJ and the guy was laughing uncontrollably, and then all of a sudden, when Cyrus wasn’t paying attention, TJ makes them switch places and now he was on top of Cyrus._

_The boys were both laughing until TJ’s face becomes more serious._

_Cyrus puts his pressure on his elbows so he can look better at TJ and asks if something’s wrong._

_“No, nothing is wrong” they keep looking at each other and now TJ, without even thinking about what he was doing, starts linning in. Cyrus lins in to and before they know it their lips connected. It was a small kiss, nothing more than a peck but Cyrus wanted more and so he lined in again and kissed TJ again, it was a slow but good kiss._

_After the kiss Cyrus asks “what just happened?”_

_“Nothing. I’m sure friends do this all the time, let’s not think to much about it”_

_“Yeah…you’re right…”_

* * *

TJ both smiles and frowns on the memory. He was never able to label his feelings for Cyrus. To this day he didn’t know how to.

They were best friends and he loved him like a best friend. And yes, after that kiss came another one, and another one and other stuff, but he liked girls.

TJ wasn’t homophobic, Cyrus had came out to him when they were 14 and he totally accepted and supported it, he just wasn’t gay nor bi. Right?

“What are you doing here”

“Is there anything else you have to say to me, that line is already overrated” He meant to sound funny which he thinks worked out because he can see a little smile forming on Cyrus’ lips.

“Sorry, I guess I just wasn’t used to having you around anymore.”he knew he was right, it still hurt to hear him say it like that. He was making it sound like it was so easy to not have TJ around him anymore and he hated it because no matter how much time it goes by he will never get used to Cyrus’ absence from his life. “Let me guess, my mom invited you for dinner? How did she even knew you were here?”

“I guess I deserved that. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to stay in touch-”

“No, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about that” Actually they did, but maybe not right now.

“Okay…to answer your questions, yes, your mom invited me for dinner and she saw me and Amber at the grocery store this morning, that’s how she knew I was back” Fun fact, Cyrus and Amber were great friends. She never became part of their ‘crew’ but she would hang out with them every once in a while. TJ was 100% sure she had a crush on Andi but she would always deny it. But with Cyrus helping Amber on a bad phase of her life and she helping him with dance routines they became really closer, and when Cyrus found out that TJ and Amber were siblings he was so shocked, his reaction was priceless.

“Amber? Amber’s back too? Why isn’t she here with you? my mom didn’t invite her? I’m going to text her and tell her to come. Omg I miss her so much” TJ starts laughing hard, he had missed this. There’s this thing about Cyrus when he feels comfortable around someone, he never stops talking, like, never! He goes on and on about anything and everything and TJ loved it.

Cyrus looks at him with a ‘what?’ face to what TJ replies with “Nothing, nothing, it’s just that I missed the way you talk so fast and make a bunch of questions all at once, some things never change. And to answer your question about Amber, she was invited too but she already had plans with Iris”

“With Iris? Are they like a thing or?” He could see why he would think that, his sister was openly Bi but that doesn’t mean she’s going to date every girl that’s friends with her.

“Oh no, they’re just best friends”

Cyrus nodded agreeing that that made sense and both went downstairs.

Dinner started off nice, it was being a little awkward, TJ had not been in that house in more than 10 years, but still nice…until the questions about the wedding started. He should be expecting this, and this should be the only thing he should want to talk about, but for the last 3/4 days, ever since they sent the invitations, there hasn’t been one conversation that had not ended up in congratulations and wedding questions.

Also, it was being very hard to read Cyrus’ face about this. He used to be an open book, whatever he was feeling you could see it in his face, not anymore.

They asked how he met Emma and he smiled remembering that day. He remembers the first thing that he ever thought about her was that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and when they actually started talking, one of the nicest too. She had a bad side as much as everyone else, she could be a little self-centered but aren’t we all? at least a little bit?

TJ wonders if Cyrus is seeing anyone, at first he’s afraid to ask but, oh well whatever. “What about you Cy? Are you seeing anyone?”

“Hum…no, not right now” right now. So that means there has been someone else, he wonders who.

“Right now? I don’t think you ever presented us to anyone” Interesting. Cyrus is not the kind of guy to get a boyfriend and not presenting him to the family.

“Just because you don’t meet them doesn’t mean they don’t exist” Okay, so there hasn’t been a relationship, at least not one that was strong enough to meet the family, but he had the feeling Cy was talking more about one night stands than boyfriends. “So, TJ, when did you know that Emma was the one?” TJ wasn’t expecting that question, especially not from Cyrus, that he almost choked.

How did he answer that? That was the one question he had no answer to. Mostly because he was starting to believe that there was no such thing as ‘the one’.

“Hum…I don’t know, I guess I just knew”

After a while, both of them start to loosen up a little, by the end of dinner everyone is laughing and happy.

“I should get going, it’s getting late” He wants to stay but it is getting late and he just wants to go home and tell Amber all of what just happened, he really needed to thank her for making him come.

“I’ll walk you out” Cyrus says standing up. “It’s my cue to leave too, I’m super tired.” They say goodbye to Cyrus’ mom and stepdad and get on their way.

Once they’re outside TJ says.

“I’m glad your mom invited me, I had a good time”

“I’m glad she invited you too, it was nice”

TJ was about to get on his car but before he does it he turns back and asks.

“Can I hug you?”

Cyrus looks a bit shocked at first but then he smiles and says “sure”. The hug lasts longer than it was supposed to but neither of them cared about that right now.

Right now they felt at Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the heart is right?


	4. Do you wanna hang out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Hey. So, I have a few things to say.  
> 1st of all, thanks for eveyone who's been reading this story and comments and leaves kudos, you're all so nice :)  
> 2nd of all everyone keeps saying some people are sexualizing the kids and all that. So I just want to say in my book the characters are 28 years old, so if you think that all they're going to do is hug and give little peks on the lips you're wrong.  
> finally I just want to clear up that TJ is really oblivious in this book. He unconsciously denies his feelings for Cyrus but still acts upon them and so he thinks it's a normal thing and they're doing nothing wrong.
> 
> okay that was it, enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, follow me on tumblr so you know when I uodate - @Tyrus-is-endgames

Read the notes first please :D

 

 

 

“So, how was dinner at your moms last night?” once again, the Good Hair Crew found themselves at The Spoon. It would forever be their favorite place to hang out.

“Well, it was weird at first but it ended up being very nice”

“Weird why?” Having TJ at his house after all this time had been surprising. He hated how he didn’t know how to act around the guy anymore.

“TJ was there”

“Wait! What?” “Really?” both girls asked at the same time.

“Yeah. I found him in my room, didn’t really know what to say” He knew what he wanted to do though. But he couldn’t. First, because TJ was getting married; second, because he didn’t even know what the guy felt anymore; and third because he couldn’t let himself have those feelings again.

“What was he doing in your room?” Buffy asked with a suspicious look.

“I don’t know, probably just wondering around I guess. Doesn’t matter. At first, my mom and Todd started asking questions about the wedding, which was, you know, awkward but then it got better and it was actually really nice.”

“Do you think Jonah and Marty were invited to the wedding?” Cyrus knew this was something Buffy had been meaning to ask for a while. He honestly didn’t know but something was telling him they probably had been.

“Oh god! I hope not” The way Jonah and Andi broke up wasn’t pretty. Jonah became a professional musician and everyone was very proud of him, but with him on one side of the world and Andi on the other, it became difficult. So when Jonah told Andi they should break-up she was fine with it, she knew it was for the best. But when she tried texting him he wouldn’t answer. her or any of the GHC really, which was odd, it wasn’t like Jonah to do that, I guess fame really changes people.

As for Buffy and Marty, Cyrus will never understand what happened. If you were to ask him, he would tell you it was probably fear of commitment. They had been together until two years ago, they were the couple that lasted longer, so when people started pressuring them about getting married and to start thinking about kids, Marty was ready for it, Buffy was not. She was way to focused on her career and what that mattered to her. She would want to settle eventually, she just wasn’t ready yet and Marty couldn’t tell when she would be so he decided to end it. They haven’t talked ever since.

“I don’t know, but I can ask TJ”

“Oh, so you guys are BFF’S again?” Buffy asked with a smirk.

“Of course not, but he’s here and we’re talking again so I don’t know, we’re just people who know each other” who he still had feelings for.

They hear the ‘ding’ of the door announcing someone just got in. Cyrus looks up and there are TJ and Amber walking in.

“Well, here’s your chance to ask him” he wasn’t going to ask him right here and now and the girls knew it, they just wanted to mess with him.

Before he can say anything the Kippen siblings are already making their way to the table.

“Hey guys!” he had missed Amber. Every time she was back in Shadyside they would meet up. Throughout the years they had become good friends.

“Hi! Amber, TJ! So good to see you both, it’s been a while” Andi was smooth, not really. Cyrus was pretty sure she had a crush on Amber, every time they saw each other she would get all flustered, it was funny to watch.

“It sure has” Amber replies a little flirtatiously.

“Hi” TJ says directly at Cyrus making him blush a little bit.

“Hey” he says back with a smile.

“Driscoll! Long time, no see”

“TJ, you just saw me a couple of days ago”

“I know, I was kidding, lol” he still used lol, some things never change.

“Do you guys want to sit with us?” Cyrus asks. He hopes the girls won’t mind. Andi definitely doesn’t when Amber sits next to her and Buffy doesn’t seem to mind either when TJ pulls up a chair and sits at the top of the table

. “What were you guys talking about?” Cyrus didn’t really want to say. Mostly because he doesn’t want TJ to know that he talks about him. He was about to make something up when Andi starts speaking.

“Oh nothing much, just how boring Cyrus’ love life is” Cyrus could kill her right now. And Buffy too because she was laughing.

“So I’ve heard” TJ says. ‘Gee thanks’, Cyrus thinks.

“That’s not what I heard. Cy, things didn’t work out with Leo? He seemed like such a good guy” Leo from Middle School. Cyrus’ first boyfriend in high school, that TJ was super jealous of if we’re being honest. Thanks Amber for bringing that up. He knows she only did it to get a reaction from TJ, she and the girls already knew about it. They had gone out for a while but it didn’t work out.

_2017(they were 17 years old)_

_Cyrus was hanging out with TJ for the first time that week. He and Leo had been dating for two weeks now so he would spend some more time with him._

_“You never cuddle with me anymore,” TJ said on the other side of the couch. Cyrus was trying to keep his distance._

_“I can’t” is all he answered. He wanted to but he couldn’t, he had a boyfriend now. “_

_Why?” TJ was pouting and Cyrus remembers thinking that that boy was going to be the death of him._

_“You know why”_

_TJ comes closer. “No, I don’t” one peck on Cyrus' lips. “We’re not doing anything wrong” another peck. “We’re just friends right?” and now he’s kissing him and Cyrus can’t help but kiss him back._

_Cyrus knew he had someone who really liked him and was not scared to show him off and to kiss him in public. But he also knows that Leo will never make him feel the way that TJ does._

_The next day he broke up with Leo._

* * *

“Leo?” TJ asks right at Cyrus. He can’t help but notice the way TJ’s voice from happy to what Cyrus could only call jealousy.

“Yeah, it didn’t work out. He was too nice. I figured my type is people who look mean and sometimes act mean but in reality are real softies.” Cyrus is well aware that he just described TJ and so did everyone else but him. Still so oblivious.

“So Amber how was the tour?” Buffy takes the attention off of him and he’s thankful. They all hear what Amber has to say but some time later, while the girls are talking about something they don’t really care about, TJ tries to get Cyrus’ attention, when he finally does, TJ asks:

“Do you wanna hang out?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“Yes, but I meant just you and me” oh! Cyrus wasn’t sure3 if that was a good idea. “c’mon I won’t bite”

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay”

“So girls, this has been very nice, I loved seeing the gang all together again, but we’re gonna go” Andi and Buffy look at Cyrus with smirks on their faces and Buffy speaks up.

“Both of you?” He knew he would get a full interrogation about this later but right now he didn’t care.

“Yes, both of us” TJ grabs Cyrus’ hand, old habits die hard, and they leave The Spoon.

“Where to?” Cyrus asks.

“Indoors or outdoors?” outdoors meant the swings and they were too old for that.

“Indoors.”

“Your house or mine?” His house meant that they would be alone and at TJ’s it would be more likely for his parents to be there so it would be safer.

“My house” He totally meant to say ‘your house’ but his mouth said something else.

“Cool, lead the way”

* * *

TJ’s pov

Cyrus’ house was cute, all black and white tons and all cleaned up. Totally like he would imagine it to be like.

He was starting to feel more at ease around Cyrus and was grateful that the boy wasn’t pushing him away anymore.

Last night and today had been great. If he could freeze time he would.

Just as he thinks that he gets a text.

 

**From: Emma <3  
  ’Hey baby, missing you. Is everything okay? Haven’t heard from you in a while.  
  Thinking about joining you in a few days.  
  Love you <3’**

 

He misses her so much. Yes, it’s been great to be back and now getting closer to Cyrus again but he missed talking about random stuff and just cuddling with her.

 

**From: TJ To: Emma <3**

**’Missing you too. Can’t wait to hold you in my arms again.**  
  Everything’s good around here, everyone’s been asking about you.  
  Love you too <3’

 

“Hey are you alive?” Cyrus asks shaking his hand in front of TJ’s face.

“Yeah, sorry. Got a little distracted. You have a beautiful home”

“Thanks. So, what do you wanna do?”

“We could watch a movie” Cyrus agrees. They end up watching ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’ one of Cyrus’ favorites. TJ thought it made no sense and was kind of stupid but he always ended up watching it and enjoying it. Mostly because of Cyrus’ reactions to everything.

They were at the part where Lara Jean and Peter are making the contract, when TJ decides to move closer to Cyrus. They had been way too far apart.

TJ sees that Cyrus notices his actions and a little smile creeping on his face. A few moments later Cyrus repeats TJ’s actions from before and moves closer. Their shoulders were now touching. TJ could feel his skin burning.

Lara and Peter are watching a movie with Kitty when TJ puts his hand on top of Cyrus’. He feels like a little kid.

To everyone else this would seem wrong, TJ was engaged, but it wasn’t like that, TJ and Cyrus were best friends. People do this all the time. It didn’t mean anything. At least that’s what he keeps telling himself.

He’s feeling nervous now, Cyrus lets his hand there but doesn’t say or do anything.

“We shouldn’t” he finally speaks up.

“We’re not doing anything wrong, it’s just hand holding”

“TJ” Cyrus whines but TJ knows him, he can tell he wants this too. Cyrus then intertwines their fingers.

Peter and Lara Jean are in the hot tub when TJ can’t help himself anymore. He holds Cyrus’ face making the other look directly at him.

“What are you doing?” Cyrus asks in no more than a whisper.

“Do you want me to stop?” Cyrus shakes his head. So TJ does what he had been wanting to do all day, he closes the space between them. It was supposed to be sweet and gentle and it started that way, but soon enough it became all but sweet, they had been craving this for years. They should stop but neither did and next thing TJ knows, Cyrus is on his lap and TJ’s hands go to his waist.

Cyrus’ phone starts ringing and TJ is both mad and thankful because if it weren’t for this, he didn’t know how it would end.

“Hey mom” Cyrus finally answers the phone after he catches his breath. He was looking all flushed and his lips were swollen. TJ loved that no matter how many years pass by, he could still make Cyrus look like that.

“Actually I’m hanging out with TJ and I was just thinking of doing something here, we’re in the middle of a movie marathon” Movie marathon? yeah, sure. That meant he wanted TJ to stick around a little while longer. “Yeah, love you too, bye” then he hangs up. “It was my mom, she wanted me to have dinner with her but I thought we could stick around, what do you think?”

“I think it’s a very good idea. Maybe we should get back to the movie marathon” Both boys smile and TJ guides Cyrus to his lap once again.

* * *

Cyrus’ POV

Cyrus thought he was dreaming. Either that or he had died and was in his personal heaven. He had waited so long for this . It was wrong and he knew it. But the thing is that TJ fully believes that what they’re doing is a normal thing that has nothing wrong with it, which makes it even more impossible not to like him and be with him like this.

Right now they were on the second movie ‘The Kissing Booth’ also Cyrus’ choice. They were cuddling on the couch and Cyrus wishes that this day never ends.

“Are you hungry?” he asks after a while.

“A bit. What do you have here?” They stood up and went to the kitchen. TJ started opening every cabinet like it was his house and Cyrus was loving it. He knew he couldn’t get used to this but for now he was going to enjoy it.

“I have a lot of things, what do you feel like eating?”

“I don’t know” He opens another cabinet. “Chocolate-chocolate chip muffins? Really underdog?” It’s the first time he calls him underdog ever since he got back and Cyrus missed it so much. He’s smiling so hard right now, it’s stupid.

“Yeah, why? do you have a problem with my muffins?”

“Nope, the only problem here is that you don’t have any blueberry macadamia ones” They both start laughing. Cyrus doesn’t feel like cooking again so they order pizza, again.

* * *

“Dude, you’re so messy eating pizza!”

“First of all, ‘dude’ is like a different version of ‘bro’ and I still hate it. And second of all, I’m messy doing everything” TJ laughs. Then he gets a text and says.

“It’s getting late, I should get going. we should do this again sometime”

“Sure” Cyrus walks TJ to the door.

“Bye”

“Bye” Cyrus isn’t sure on how to say goodbye to TJ but he doesn’t have to think about it because TJ takes one step closer and gives him a peck on the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think.  
> love you all


	5. Guess who's back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, life's been crazy this last two weeks and it still is so sorry if this sucks.  
> I'll try to update again this weekend  
> enjoy.

TJ’s POV

TJ was laughing at how messy Cyrus was eating his pizza. Today had been so great, it was hard for him to think it would be over soon.

As if on cue, TJ gets a text.

 

**From: Mom:**

**’can you bring me sugar on your way home? I forgot to put it on the grocery store list. btw come home soon, there’s a surprise waiting for you’**

 

A surprise? What could it be?

“It’s getting late, I should get going. we should do it again sometime” soon, he adds to himself. He always felt happy when he was with Cyrus, there was only one moment in his life where he felt sad near him.

 

_2018 (they were 18)_

_“It’s our last day, I still can’t belive it, we’re going to college! I’m so excited!” yes, TJ could tell Cyrus was excited_ _but he could also listen to a little bit of sadness because this was indeed their last day together. TJ wouldn’t say it was forever but he knew they would go a long time without seeing or talking to each other and even when they were to see each other again, it wouldn’t be the same and both of them knew that._

_“Yeah, what do you want to do?” TJ was down for whatever Cyrus wanted to do. He had been preparing for this day since they got their acceptance letters but he still wasn’t ready for this, he just wanted to make the most of today._

_“Well, I have to save the night for the girls but right now, I’m all yours.”_

_“Sound good to me” TJ replies pulling Cyrus closer to him. He still had no idea how to label his feelings for the other boy. He knew he liked girls, he had had girlfriends and he knew he wasn’t into boys, but then when he was with Cyrus he had feelings that he couldn’t even describe and those feelings kept him up at night. Being away from Cyrus was going to be the hardest thing he would ever do in his entire life._

_“So, are you ust going to stare at me or are you going to kiss me?” of course he kisses him because lately that had been what they did a lot._

_They kissed for the first time when they were 16, but it was nevera ‘let’s make out’ kind of kiss, it was more like a ‘let’s see what this is like’ kind of kiss and it went like that for a while, just a little peck every once in a while._

_At 17 it became a ‘I like how this feels’ kiss and by the age of 18 they started making out. It never went further than that though. They knew that would breat the whole ‘we’re just friends’ thing._

_The rest of the day they watched movies, played video games, made muffins (chocolate-chocolate chip and blueberry macadamia) and made out some more because why not._

_At the end of the day they hugged and tried really hard not to cry._

* * *

"Sure" Cyrus says with a smile.

 

"Bye" why is it so hard to leave?

 

"Bye" They both struggle in how to say goodbye until TJ decides to give him one last kiss for tonight.

 

On his way to get what his mom asked him to, TJ thinks about how Cyrus makes him feel and he realizes it's not so different from how Emma makes him feel, even though it's not the same thing. For the first time, he's scared about his feelings towards the other boy.

 

"Hey, mom I'm home. I brought what you wanted, what's my surprise?"

 

"It's on the living room, come here" He had been thinking of what could it be, but he still hadn't figured it out.

 

"SURPRISE" and he definitely is surprised, his fioncé is standing in his living room and for a moment he doesn't know what to do and how to act.

 

"Aren't you happy to see me?" of course he was, it was just that today had been a confusing day, for a moment he had forgotten he was 28 years old and about to get married.

 

"Of course I'm happy! Come here!" he opens his arms for her and they hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you had an audition" TJ asks when they let go.

 

"I do, but I still have two days and I missed you. Besides, you probably didn't check your e-mail because we have an interview in three days to talk about the wedding" what he hated the most about being a famous basketball player was all the press he had to do, all he ever really wanted to do was play basketball.

 

"You're right, I haven't, I was busy today, hanging out with a friend." He had just gotten in Shadyside and he would have to leave already.

 

"With a girl friend or a boy friend?" This was what TJ disliked the most about Emma. She was jealous of everything that moved.

 

"A guy friend, Cyrus, but even if it was a girl, you don't have to worry about a thing because you're the one I'm getting married to."

 

"Oh, you were with Cyrus? Next time you see him, tell him I miss having him around, he hasn't come by in a few months" a few months? So Cyrus had been coming to his house when he wasn't around? It kind of made sense, he probably would come to hang out with Amber.

 

"I will"

 

"Who's Cyrus? I remember you putting his name on the guest list" Emma had this obsession where she had the need to know everything that was going on. It usually didn't bother TJ, but when it came to Cyrus it did.

 

"He's my best friend. I mean, he used to be, we hadn't seen each other in years, but I guess a friendship like ours will never end." They had tried being away from each other and it worked but the moment they had the chance to go back to how it used to be, they took it. TJ knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from Cyrus again.

 

"Cute. I would like to meet him, and your other friends"

 

"Good idea. I'll text them to see if they're available tomorrow"

 

**From: TJ To: Andiman, Slayer, Underdog**

**’Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow?’**

**Slayer: ‘Nothing much, just hanging out. Why?’**

**TJ: ‘There’s someone I would like you to meet’**

**Andiman: ‘Who?’**

**Underdog: ‘Okay, let’s all meet at The Spoon for luch, what do you think?’**

**TJ: ‘Sounds good. See you tomorrow.**

**Love you guys"**

**\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Cyrus’ POV

Cyrus was still thinking about the events of today when his phone vibrates letting him know he received a text.

 

**From: Not-so-Scary Basketall Guy To: Cyrus, Andi, Buffy**

**’Hey what are you guys doing tomorrow?’**

 

**Buffy <3 : ‘Nothing much, just hanging out, why?’**

 

This groupchat hadn’t been used in forever. He was suprised everyone still had the same phone number. Finally everything was back to how it used to be and Cyrus was very happy.

 

**Not-So-Scary Basketball Guy: ‘There’s someone I would like you to meet’**

 

Oh! Maybe he was wrong.Things weren’t back to normal. For a moment he forgot that TJ had a girlfriend, which is probably the ‘someone’ he just mentioned.

Cyrus didn’t know she was also in Shadyside, TJ didn’t say anything about it.

 

**Andi <3 : ‘Who?’**

**Cyrus: ‘Okay, let’s all meet at The Spoon for lunch, what do you think?’**

**Not-So-Scary Basketball Guy: Sounds good see you Tomorrow.**

**Love you guys.**

 

Cyrus wasn’t excited for tomorrow, not after everything that had happened today. How was he supposed to look at the soon to be wife of the man he loved after that?

After texting with TJ, the girls text the GHC groupchat asking if they were meeting who they thought they were meeting, to what Cyrus answered that yes, it would most likely be her. Then they asked him what did they do that afternoon. Cyrus’ only reply is ‘Movie Marathon’.

* * *

Cyrus doesn’t want to get out of bed. Is it too late to tell everyone he’s sick? Yes, it is. But he still feels temped to do it.

The girls are meeting him at the house so they can all walk together to The Spoon.

“So, Cy, are you ready for this?” Andi asked when they were on their way to meet TJ and his girlfriend.

“As ready as I’ll ever be” They’re getting closer and Cyrus’ palms are getting sweaty.

“Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll be there.” Buffy says hugging Cyrus.

“Thanks guys” He wished he wasn’t so in love with the blonde man. He tried, so hard, to forget him. But even far away, TJ had left a mark on Cyrus and he knew he would never love someone as much as he loves TJ.

“We’re here” Andi announces when they reach their destination. Cyrus takes a deep breath and they walk in.

TJ and Emma are already there and when they notice that they arrived the couple stands up and calls them over.

“Hey guys! This is Emma Adams, my fioncé” wow, Cyrus thinks, she’s way prettier than he ever imagined.

“Future Mrs.Kippen” She says with a laugh. She’s trying to be funny. Cyrus doesn’t think it’s  funny at all.

“And this is Andi, she’s the most amazing artist you’ll ever meer” TJ tells Emma.

“Awn thanks TJ”

“This is Buffy, the second best basketball player in the world”

“You wish Kippen” Everyone laughs.

“And this is Cyrus, the best teacher ever and also the best friend I’ve ever had”

“Nice to meet you all, I’ve heard a lot about all of you, especually you Cyrus” oh really?

“All good things I hope”

“I don’t think tehre’s anything bad to say. As far as I’m concerned you’re perfect” Cyrus doesn’t like her tone very much, it’s the fakest nice tone he’s ever heard. He looks at TJ and he’s looking down, blushing a little bit.

Cyrus would never understand him. He knows the other boy had feelings for him too, but on the other hand, here he was, looking all lovely with his soon to be wife. He could see they loved each other, which hurted more than he will ever admit.

After the introductions they all sit down and order lunch.

* * *

It was being an awkward lunch, even worse than the dinner with TJ a couple of days ago. No one knew what to say.

 

“So, how did you all meet?” Emma ends up asking after a few minutes of silence.

 

“Oh no, not that story” TJ whines.

 

“Oh, I’m going to love this.” Andi smirks and looks at Buffy.

 

“So, it all started on the tryouts for the basketball team …” they keep telling the story as TJ keeps asking them to stop. He obviously isn’t proud of who he used to be.

 

“You’re not like that anymore, what happened?” Emma asks TJ.

 

TJ was about to answer but Andi was first.

 

“Cyrus happened” Andi was the number 1 Tyrus shipper and it always had been obvious but she didn't have to be so obvious in front of his girlfriend.

 

“Oh really? What did you do?” Emma asked now directly at Cyrus. The thing is, he didn’t know how to answer. TJ had always been different around Cyrus but he never knew why.

 

“He listened” TJ starts saying. He isn’t looking anywhere but he keeps talking. “He was the first one who cared about what I had to say. And even when I tried pushing him away, he didn’t leave like everyone else used to” Cyrus was speechless, so was everyone at the table. All he wanted to do right now was to kiss TJ or at least hug him, but he couldn’t. TJ always liked Cyrus for who he really was and that’s what made him a better person, why didn’t he told him that before?

 

“Hum…that’s nice, I guess… Baby, we should get going we still need to pack our bags” Emma didn’t really like Tj’s answer and it showed. It wasn’t what he said that was bad, the worst part was how he said it, it was so soft and at the same time like he was in a trance, as if he was remembering something.

But wait. What bags?

 

“Bags? You just got here, you’re leaving already?” Cyrus speaks up for what feels like the first time in this whole lunch.

 

“Yeah…Em has an audition tomorrow and we have an interview the day next”

 

“When are you coming back?”

 

“I don’t know” How could Cyrus be so stupid? He knew TJ wasn’t here to stay, he knew he would eventually leave again. But he had just got here and they were finally okay. And now all of a sudden his fioncé shows up and he’s gone again.

What was he thinking? That he would stay here with him until the wedding? of course not. He still hoped though, because he was stupid.

 

“You know what? I should get going. It was very nice meeting you Emma” Cyrus starts walking away, he hears the girls saying they need to go too and once they’re all out the door they hug him.

 

“Are you okay?” Andi asks.

 

“I’m fine”

 

“No, you’re not. And that’s okay!” Buffy says.

 

“No, it’s not okay, I was blinding myself thinking I don’t even know what. I’m glad he’s leaving again when he’s around I can’t think straight” The pun wasn’t intended but he could be.

 

“Cyrus you never think straight” Andi says trying to clear the mood, and it works because now the group is laughing.

 

The girls leave Cyrus at his house and Buffy asks “Will you be okay?” to what he answers with a small ‘yes’.

* * *

TJ’s POV

“You did that on purpose and it wasn’t nice” TJ had asked his girlfriend not to mention anything about them leaving because he hadn't told his friends yet. So why would she mention it? He wanted to go after Cyrus but that would initiate an argument that he wasn’t ready to have yet.

 

“Okay, spoiler alert, your friend is gay. And, for the way he was looking at you, he’s totally in love with you. And that’s what’s not nice.” Emma had been jealous before but not like this. She was being mean and that was getting on TJ’s nerves.

 

“Are you even listening to yourself? That makes no sense. Yes, he looks at me in a caring way because he’s my best friend and we hadn't seen each other in a very long time so we’re just happy to see each other. You’re overreacting and it’s just wrong.” Of course, they liked each other, they’re friends. Yes, it was different from how it was with Andi and Buffy, but that’s because they were closer.

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry, it’s just… you guys seem to have a special connection.”

 

“We do, but it’s because we’ve known each other since we were kids, we’ve been through a lot together, it’s just that.”

 

“I get it, tell him I’m sorry for being rude” They were at his room in his parent's house, probably everyone heard their little argument so he was glad he was leaving so he didn’t have to answer questions about it. Before the ‘fight’ TJ had told her he was going to Cyrus’ to apologize for the whole mess.

 

“I will. It won’t take long. Love you” He says and leaves.

* * *

Cyrus’ POV

Cyrus was already at his bed, reading a book when he heard someone knocking on his door. He ignores it, he’s not in the mood for anyone.

 

He’s ready to go back to his novel but there’s a knock again.

 

“I’m coming!” he yells and goes downstairs. Cyrus opens the door to see TJ standing there.

 

“What are y-” He’s stopped by TJ’s lips crashing into his in an angry kiss, it’s like he’s letting all his stress down on the kiss and Cyrus lets him even though he knows he shouldn’t.

 

“I’m sorry, I was going to tell you but she did it before I had the chance. She also says sorry for doing it.” TJ said all this in one breath.

 

“Hey, calm down. I’m not mad that she said it, I’m sad I had to find out through her”

 

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry, I only found out yesterday, after I left your house”

 

“I just really didn’t want to say goodbye to you again. I just got you back” Tj hugs Cyrus after he says this and they stand there holding each other for a very long time. “How long will you be gone?”

 

“I don’t know…” I don’t know probably meant a very long time, so most likely until the wedding.

 

“oh”

 

“But we don’t have to say goodbye this time. I don’t think I can do that ever again.” TJ had a point, but Cyrus wasn’t sure. It’s not like he wanted to do it, it’s just that it would be better for his heart. But he also didn’t think he could do it again.

 

“You’re right. So, when is your flight?”

 

“In 3 hours. I just needed to see you before I left, I should get going” next time he would see him, TJ would be in a tuxedo all ready to get married to that girl, who was more fake nice than really nice. Cyrus couldn’t believe TJ had fallen for that.

 

“At least give me a proper goodbye” Cyrus said pulling TJ closer.

 

“Oh, I will” They kiss once again, and it was supposed to be one last kiss so TJ could leave, but one turns into ten and suddenly they’re walking backwards until they reach the couch. They’re way into it and Cyrus lays TJ down on the couch putting himself on top of him.

 

“You’re driving me crazy” TJ whispers in between kisses.

 

Cyrus asks “oh yeah?” to what TJ nods.

 

He wants to keep going but they’re reaching new territory for them and TJ has to go, so he gives him one last gentle kiss and gets up.

 

“I hate to stop this., but you have a flight to catch and your girlfriend would kill me if you lost it because of me” Cyrus says it in a funny way but he kind of means it.

 

TJ pouts a little but nods and gets up from the couch too.

 

“I’m going to miss you”

 

“That’s why phones exist and this time we’ll use them. But yeah, I’ll miss you too”

 

“Come here underdog” TJ opens his arms and they hug one more time. It’s always so hard to say goodbye.

 

“Yeah, this is cute and all but you have to go” in his head he’s screaming ‘stay’ but he’s not that selfish and even if he was TJ would never stay with him and leave Emma to go on her own.

 

“Are you kicking me out?” TJ asks in a mocking voice.

 

“Yes, gooo!” Cyrus is pushing TJ to the door. Before TJ opens it, he gives Cyrus one last kiss and then leaves.


	6. Good or Bad decisions

 

Cyrus’ POV

The next day he wakes up feeling both sad and happy at the same time. Sad that TJ is gone but happy that he left with them being on good terms.

He checks his phone like he always does first thing in the morning and he’s surprised to see he has a text from TJ.

 

**From: Not-So-Scary Basketball Guy**

**’Hey underdog! Just arrived at L.A.**

**Let me know if something actually happens in Shadyside.**

**Missing you already’**

 

**From: Cyrus To: Not-So-Scary Basketball Guy**

**’Hiya. Glad to know everything went okay.**

**Nothing eventful ever happens here so good luck with that.**

**Missing you too’**

 

Cyrus is definitely not sad anymore.

He didn’t plan anything with the girls so he decides to catch up on some tv shows and decides for some fish and chips for lunch. Not to brag but Cyrus considers himself a really good cook.

He’s about to press play on another episode but gets a facetime request from the GHC.

“Hey Cyrus, Hi Andi! What are you guys up to?” Buffy seems energetic and she’s on her gym clothes so she probably has been working out.

“Nothing much, just helping Ariel with some summer homework” After they all went to college, Bex and Bowie missed having kids wondering around the house so they decided to have another baby.

Ariel was a very sweet girl, she was actually Cyrus’ student, so every once in a while she would call him ‘uncle Cyrus’ instead of ‘Mr. Goodman’.

“As if she needed any help, that girl is smarter than I was when I was her age”

“Don’t spoil her with your words Goodman” The three of them laugh.

“What about you Cy? What are you up to today?” Buffy asks.

“Just getting caught up with some shows, you?”

“Oh me? I’m doing absolutely nothing and I’m very bored so please let’s do something” Andi and Cyrus laugh again due to Buffy desperate speech. “By the way Cyrus, how are you doing, you know, about TJ?”

“I’m good, we’re good. He came over last night and we talked” Well, they didn’t talk much, but he was keeping that to himself, for now.

“You know what we should all do? Go clubbing tonight. Find you a nice man, find myself one too, what do you guys think?” Cyrus could still feel TJ’s touch from the night before, he wasn’t very keen on finding someone right now. But he’s going with Buffy anyway or else she’ll go nuts alone in her house.

Cyrus thinks about all the people his age that have or is settling down and then there’s him and his friends who are talking about going out to a club to meet people. How did this become his life?

“Hum…I actually already have plans tonight”

“What? With who?” Buffy asks

“With Amber”

“With Amber huh?” Cyrus totally saw this coming.

“What is it with you two and the Kippen siblings?”

“They’re hot” Both Cyrus and Andi answer their best friend.

“Well Cy, you’re not bailing on me too, are you?”

“Of course not, we’re going to get you the best guy”

“Same to you”

“sure”

“I wanna hear all about it tomorrow guys” Andi says. She seems excited, Cyrus hopes everything goes right with Amber.

“Yeah, we’re going to want to know about your date too” She blushes.

They say their goodbyes and Cyrus goes back to his TV Shows, that’s probably everything he’s going to do before he has to go out with Buffy.

He’s close to the end of the final episode of this show he’s watching and it’s getting so interesting, they’re finally going to find out who the bad guy is, but then his phone rings again. He needs to start putting it on mute mode so people don’t distract him while he’s watching Netflix.

 

**From: Not-so-scary Basketball Guy**

**’Watcha doing?’**

 

Cyrus wasn’t used to this casual conversations anymore. It was nice.

 

**From: Cyrus**  
**To: Not-so-scary Basketball Guy**

**’I was trying to watch some Netflix but then this really annoying person texted me *laughing emoji***

**What about you?’**

**Not-so-scary Basketball Guy: Nothing. Em just left for her audition and  I’m home alone, very bored.**

**Btw sorry for being annoying *laughing emoji***

 

**Cyrus: You’re always annoying, but I love you anyway XD**

 

Cyrus thought a little bit before sending this message. They’re back to being friends so this wouldn’t be awkward right?

 

**Not-so-scary Basketball Guy: You’re just saying that to make me feel better, but love you too dude.**

**Cyrus: *eye roll emoji ***

**Not-so-scary Basketball guy: So, it’s a Friday night, what does the Good Hair Crew has prepared?**

**Cyrus: Well, Andi is going out with your sister and Buffy and I are going out. She says we need to find ourselves some men.**

 

TJ takes longer to reply and his only answer is ‘nice’. Weird but okay.

* * *

TJ’s POV

“Good luck on your audition babe” TJ tells Emma when she’s about to leave.

“Thanks, I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Love you”

“Love you too” and then she’s gone and TJ is left alone with his thoughts about the last couple of days. His mind wonders what is Cyrus up to right now so he decides to text him.

 

**From: TJ To: Underdog**

**’watcha doing?’**

**Underdog: I was trying to watch some Netflix but then this really annoying person texted me * laughing emoji ***

**What about you?**

**TJ: Nothing. Em just left for her audition and I’m home alone, very bored.**

**Btw sorry for being annoying *laughing emoji***

**Underdog: you’re always annoying but I love you anyway XD**

TJ’s heart skips a beat at this text. Obviously, this wasn’t the first time they said something like this, but it’s the first time in a long time and for some reason, it feels different.

 

**TJ: You’re just saying that to make me feel better, but love you too dude.**

 

Of course, he calls him dude on purpose, if he’s going to be called annoying, at least he’s going to act like it

 

**Underdog: *eye roll emoji ***

 

TJ laughs to himself.

 

**TJ: So, it’s a Friday night, what does the Good Hair Crew has prepared?**

**Underdog: Well, Andi is going out with your sister and Buffy and I are going out. She says we need to find ourselves some men.**

 

Oh, he hates this feeling. He knows he’s jealous but he doesn’t want to feel like this, he shouldn’t feel like this. He can’t bear the thought of some other guy touching Cyrus the way he wanted to.

Where the hell were these thoughts coming from?

 

TJ: Nice

 

He keeps checking his phone to see if Cyrus says anything else, but he doesn’t. He’s probably getting ready to meet new guys.

Getting closer with Cyrus like that again had been a mistake. Back when they were younger he could tell himself that it was nothing much, just two best friends having some fun. But now they weren’t kids anymore, and it wasn’t just fun anymore either. These last few days had meant something, no matter how much he tried to deny it, because now he can’t stop thinking about the other boy and that’s not okay. He’s getting married, to Emma!

So he pushes the thoughts of Cyrus to the back of his head and waits for his beautiful girlfriend to come back.

* * *

“Hello honey, I’m home” She seems to be in a good mood, that’s a good sign.

“Hey baby girl, so how was it?” He greets her with a deep kiss.

“I actually think it went very well, they’re going to call within a week to let me know but I think they liked me”

“Wow, that’s great news” he’s very happy for her and he really hopes she gets the part.

They decide to go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner.

“I didn’t say it before because we were in a rush, but I enjoyed meeting your friends” TJ was finding it hard to believe considering how that lunch ended.

“Oh really?” Emma rolls her eyes.

“Yes really. Andi and Buffy seemed great” he thought they were past her jealousy over Cyrus, guess he was wrong.

“Not Cyrus, why?”

“I don’t know, there’s something off about him” what? what was she talking about?

“Like what?”

“Well, for starters, the fact that he’s gay”

what the- ?

“Are you homophobic or something?” They’ve been together for so many years, how could he not know this?

“I’m not homophobic, but, we have to admit it’s not normal” TJ couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Images of him and Cyrus go through his mind, it looked totally normal to him. TJ always considered himself heterosexual but he had always had LGBT friends and accepted everyone by who they were.

“You do know that my sister is a lesbian right? I mean, what is your problem? of course, it’s normal!”

“No, it’s not! Girls aren’t meant to be with Girls and boys aren’t meant to be with Boys. Now can we accept we have different opinions and move on with our dinner? I hate fighting with you” TJ didn’t like to fight with her either but he was starting to think he didn’t know the girl he was about to marry as well as he thought.

“Sure, whatever” They spend the rest of the dinner silent and so is the ride back home.

“Stop being mad at me” Emma pouts. They just arrived and TJ is tired.

“I’m not. I just never thought you could be so close minded. Imagine if I was bi, you wouldn’t love me just because I would like boys as much as girls?” he wasn’t bi, he knew that. He has never been in love with a boy. There was Cyrus but…that was a best friend kind of love, right? He’s so confused right now, it must be from the wine he just had.

“Well, are you?” No! yes… Maybe? He doesn’t know anything anymore.

“No, but what if I was? You’re not answering my question”

“I don’t know, okay? Happy now? I’m pretty sure that was not the answer you wanted to hear”

“You’re right, it wasn’t. I’m going to bed now”

Emma doesn’t follow after him and TJ is thankful for that.

Now it’s just him and his thoughts.

He remembers the first time he met Cyrus and thinking ‘he’s so cute’. He remembers when they started getting closer, and then he thinks about their first kiss and how much he really wanted to do it. He remembers feeling the butterflies and only now he starts understanding everything.

He’s in love with his best friend and always has been!

How did this happen? When did this happen? And why was he only seeing it now?

His last thoughts before falling asleep are ‘what the hell is going on?’ and ‘what am I going to do?’

 

* * *

He wakes up at 3 am feeling thirsty, so he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

He checks his phone and he has 2 texts from Cyrus.

 

**From: Underdog 2:00 am**

**’Hey Teej. You should be here. There’s a lot of hot guys here. None as hot as you though’**

**From: Underdog 2:45 am**

**’Oh God, forget that last text. I’m way too drunk right now. Sorry’**

**From: TJ To: Underdog 3:00 am**

**’It’s okay Cy, go home, you’re wasted’**

He thinks about how many guys have danced, flirted and touched Cyrus tonight and he’s mad, even though he has no right to be.

His head is a mess right now. It’s like all his life he thought he knew who he was and who he was going to be, and only now he’s realizing he was wrong. And right now he feels so stupid for all the times he was with Cyrus and would say that they were just friends and that it didn’t mean anything. Of course, it meant something.

He was in love with his best friend, and he was also in love with his girlfriend, soon to be wife.

He needed to rest.

“Is everything okay?” Emma asks once he lays down on the bed again.

“Everything’s fine, come here” he’s still mad at her and they need to have that conversation again, but right now he just needs things to be back to normal, so he holds his fioncé and falls asleep again.

When TJ wakes up Emma is no longer by his side, but he can smell the coffee and pancakes downstairs so he takes a quick shower and goes to the kitchen.

Emma is still making pancakes and there’s already a huge pile of them next to her. she bakes a lot when she’s feeling nervous or anxious.

“Good morning” TJ says hugging Emma from behind.

She turns to at him, says ‘good morning’ and gives him a little peck. She turns off the oven and they both sit at the table to start eating.

“How did you sleep?” his girlfriend asks.

“I’ve had better nights, what about you?”

“Same” she makes a little pause. “Can we talk about last night, without fighting?”

“Yes, please”

She takes a deep breath and starts talking.

“I’m sorry if I offended your sister and your friend. I know I don’t accept this things the way you want me to, but that was how I was raised so I never knew any better. So help me be better? please?” It was hard to be mad when she looked this vulnerable and was asking for his help. He understood where she was coming from.

“I’m sorry too. From the way things got heated last night. It’s just…it’s kind of a personal topic for me, so I got mad. And I’m glad you’re asking for my help for this.” No matter how confused he was about his feelings for Cyrus this was the woman he was going to marry, he’s in love with her. Besides, his life is in L.A. He’s making the right decision, right?

* * *

Cyrus’ POV

Cyrus wakes up with a huge headache, he hasn’t been this hangover in a very long time.

He just wanted to forget. Forget TJ was back in his life, forget he was engaged, forget that he was in love with TJ. It didn’t work. Buffy got him a guy that looked a lot like TJ which made his case much worse.

He takes a very long bath and has breakfast. He texts the girls letting them know he’s alive and agrees to meet them after lunch so Andi can tell them all about her date with Amber.

* * *

“So…how was it?” Andi was all smiles but still hadn’t said a word about it. It was killing Cyrus with curiosity.

“It was…so amazing” She had this dreamy look on her face. Cyrus was so happy for her.

“More details, please” Buffy says.

Andi then starts going on and in about it and everyone is happy. In the middle of it, Cyrus’ phone vibrates.

 

**From: Teej**

**’Hey underdog, it seemed like you had fun last night.**

**How’s that headache? *laughing emoji ***

Hum…he doesn’t remember changing TJ’s name on his phone, that’s what happens when you get drunker than you should.

Cyrus smiles at the text but then remembers the drunk text he sent TJ last night and cringes immediately. He can’t believe he sent something like that. ‘None as hot as you though’? Who says that?

Well TJ doesn’t seem to be bothered by that, he seems to be more bothered by the fact that Cyrus mentioned other guys. He smirks at the thought of TJ maybe being jealous, so he decides to try to see if he’s right.

 

**From: Cyrus To: Teej**

**’Hiya, I actually had a lot of fun, more than I should ;)**

**And the headache is bad but getting better.**

**Wbu?’**

 

“Why are you smiling like crazy at your phone? Don’t tell me you actually met a guy last night?” He did meet a guy last night but he just wasn’t interested.

“I did, but he wasn’t the type of guy to text the next day. He seemed more like a guy that wanted to take me home and forget about me the next day”

“He’s talking trash about the guy but I saw them making out all night” Buffy was right. At the end of the day, they had gone to have fun and meet people right? So that’s what Cyrus did. He was single, after all.

His phone vibrates again.

 

**Teej: oh, okay. good for you.**

 

Definitely jealous.

Then there’s another text with an image attached. It was a park. ‘just went for a walk’ it said.

“I don’t even need to ask again who you’re talking to again. There’s only one person that puts that smile on your face” Buffy says.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s take a pic” They all take a group selfie and Cyrus sends it to TJ.

**Cyrus: Hanging with the girls in the same place as always**

 

Then TJ sends a selfie of himself smiling and Cyrus melts. He’s so cute.

For days that becomes their way of communicating and Cyrus loves it.

Two weeks later he gets an image of a plane ticket with the caption that says ‘See you tomorrow’.


	7. Same Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all I'm sorry it took me so much time to update, life went kind of crazy for a while, and then there was school, and then I was just really struggling with this chapter.  
> I re-wrote at least 3 times and I'm still not 100% happy with how it turned out but I hope you can still enjoy.  
> Someone in the comments asked how many chapters this fic would have, probably it will be 10  
> Don't expect an update until the middle of July which is after final exams.  
> Thanks for everyone who was patient :)

Hey, it's @mcdanno_raf from ao3  
I finally ended the chapter   
Here it is:

 

TJ's POV

 

"amber's birthday is next week, I'm going to Shadyside, can you come?" Emma had gotten the role on the audition and she had already started shooting.

"Sorry baby, I can't, I'm filming everyday next week. How long will you stay?" After the fight, they had been better than ever, but TJ was actually scared to go without her. Because that meant a lot more alone time with Cyrus.

"I'm not sure "

The next day he buys his ticket and sends it to Cyrus. He gets a reply almost immediately. It's a smiley Cyrus with smiley emoji's.

They talk some more and Cyrus ends up telling TJ he would pick him up at the airport tomorrow.

 

\------------------------------------

The next day

 

TJ is very excited to go home. He's surprising Amber, she doesn't know he's coming. He's also very happy to see Cyrus again, but is very afraid too. Finally admitting to himself that he had feelings for his best friend has been a scary experience, and now that he knows how he really feels, he can't do anything about it because he loves Emma and is going to marry her in less than a month.

After getting his bags TJ starts searching for Cyrus, until he finally does find him.

"Cyrus, my man!"

"Teej, looking good"

Cyrus helps TJ with his bags as they go to his car.

"Is everything ready for the surprise party?" TJ asks Cyrus. It was going to be Amber's 30th anniversary so they all decided, along with his parents, to throw her a party, it had been a long time since they've done that, so everyone was very excited.

"Almost. Actually I need to grab some more balloons on the way to your house if that's okay"

"Yeah, it's fine"

The boys stop at the supermarket they see, grab what they need and continue the journey to TJ's house.

"Here we are, give your mom the balloons please. Do you need any help?"

"Yes, please. Also why don't you come in? My mom loves having you over" and so do I, he adds to himself.

"Sure, why not?"

As they're taking TJ's things , the front door opens.

"Son? I didn't know you were coming. I'm so happy to see you!" Mrs. Kippen rushes to her son and gives him a hug.

""I wanted to make you a surprise too" he says as he hugs her back 

 

\----------------------------------

 

 

"Cyrus, honey, are you staying for dinner?" His mom really did love having Cyrus around and TJ definitely wasn't complaining. He had had a nice afternoon. He and Cyrus had spent it with his mom and dad and it was awesome, everyone laughed a lot.

Cyrus looked at TJ as if asking him if he wanted him to stay. TJ smiles and nods.

"Sure" Cyrus answers.

 

\------------------------------------

 

TJ and Cyrus are setting table when the door opens and they hear Amber scream "I'm home", she then talks a little with her parents and finally goes to the kitchen.

"OMG TJ! You're here!" Out of everyone, TJ misses Amber the most when he's away. They've always been very close.

"Of course I'm here, you thought I would miss your birthday?" TJ says while they hug.

"You said you would. Liar" they separate from the hug. "hi Cy"

"Hey Ambs"

"You knew about this?" Cyrus' only answer is a shrug of shoulders and a laugh. TJ loves his laugh so much. He shakes the thought away. He made the decision to stay with Emma and not act on his feelings for his best friend.

"You little fucker" she tries to seem mad but she's smiling so hard that it's impossible.

Eventually everyone else arrives.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Cyrus' POV

 

"Why don't you stop staring and go talk to him?" Cyrus knows he's been staring for a while now but what was he supposed to do? He had been hanging out with the guy all day, he wanted to give him space to talk with other people.

"And say what Andi? 'hey I know we've spent the last hours talking but I can't stop thinking about you, pay attention to me', no I don't think so" sometime Cyrus wishes he could kiss TJ right here in front of everyone, but that's never going to happen and he knows it.

"I guess you don't have to say anything" she says and walks away, only then Cyrus notices TJ walking towards him.

"Hey" TJ says and smiles.

"Hi"

"You look great tonight" he whispers in Cyrus' ear.

His heart skips a beat. He doesn't know what to say, he had no expectations for tonight concerning TJ. He thought that what happened last time the boy was here was maybe just remembering old times. Now he wasn't so sure.

He takes a deep breath, gives him a small smile and answers.

"Thanks"

"Come with me" he grabs Cyrus' hand and leads him up the stairs to his old room.

"What are we doing here?"

"Maybe I just want to spend some alone time with my best friend" Cyrus nods " remember the first time we got drunk here" he smiles at the memory.

 

Flashback (2018 - they were 18 years old)

 

"You know what? I think this is the most rebel thing we've ever done" they were 18, so, not old enough to be aloud to drink, but summer vacations hadn't been that eventful and they just wanted to have some fun.

"It really is but who cares? So, what do you want to try first? We've got beer, vodka, scotch..." TJ says.

"Let's start with beer, we have all night"

 

2 hours later

 

They were definitely drunk. Everything was suddenly funny. Cyrus felt like dancing and TJ was singing random songs. He was actually a very good singer.

""We should play a game" TJ said all of a sudden.

"What game?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Are you serious?" Cyrus never liked truth or dare, it made him anxious.

"Truth or dare Cyrus?"

"Truth"

"Who, here, would you like to make out with?" What?

"TJ you're the only person here"

"You still have to answer"

"Okay whatever. You" it's not like they haven't been making our for a couple of years anyway.

"Truth or dare Cy?"

"I think it's my turn now Teej" the other guy just shakes his head no. He asks again. "Dare" Cyrus finally says. TJ smirks.

"I dare you to kiss me"

"If you wanted me to kiss you, you could have said so"

"What would be the fun in that?" Drunk TJ was weird but also kind of funny. "So, are you going to kiss me or what?"

 

\-------------------------------------

 

"Truth or dare?" Cyrus asks with a smile. He can tell by TJ's face that he want expecting the question. He gives Cyrus a 'seriously?' look and the boy nods.

"Truth"

"Who, here, would you most like to make out with?"

"You're not playing fair" somehow they have gotten closer.

"We never do. You haven't answered my question" Cyrus was trying to look confident but he was freaking out inside.

"You"

"Truth or dare TJ?"

"Dare"

"I dare you to kiss me" it's all he wanted to do sinse he picked him up at the airport.

TJ steps even more close.

"If you wanted me to kiss you, you could have said so"

"What would be the fun in that?" They're so close that their lips are almost touching. Still TJ takes his time. His eyes shift from Cyrus' lips and eyes. Then he puts his hand on Cy's cheek.

"We can't do this" TJ says pushing away,Cyrus can't even hide the disappointment, but he understands, he shouldn't even have tried to put the moves on him in the first place. "Sorry"

"Don't be. It was my fault..." They stand in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes and Cyrus just wants to run. What was he thinking? Just because TJ said he looked good, they were going to make out?

"Look, it's not that I don't want to, it's just th-" TJ starts explaining but Cyrus cuts him off.

"You can't. I get it. Forget I said or did anything" now Cyrus feels really bad. He was never in favour of cheating yet here he was throwing himself into an almost married man. But it wasn't just his fault though. TJ had been sending mixed signals ever since they started talking again. This whole situation was a mess.

"Sorry" TJ says lowering his head.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry. Let's just forget it okay?"

"Okay"

They go downstairs and Cyrus searches for Andi and Buffy. They make lunch plans for the next day and then Cyrus decides to leave. He says goodbye to Amber wishing her an happy birthday for the last time.

On his way home he can't stop thinking about what happened between him and TJ. He wishes he could just press a button and stop having those feelings for the other guy. It's not good for anyone. Still he can't stop wondering if he actually wanted to kiss him back...

Cyrus didn't get much sleep that night.

 

\------------------------------------

 

"So how are things between you and TJ?" Buffy asks over lunch.

"I don't really know. I mean, we're friends I guess, sometimes it's just like before and other times it's just weird. It's like we don't know how to act around each other anymore" having him back in his life has been a while new life experience. It's lie getting to know someone all over again. Before, he would look at TJ and know exactly what he wanted or needed, now he just doesn't know.

"That's normal Cy, in no time it will be just like in high school" Andi, always the optimist.

"Yeah until he leaves again" back to her...

The girls give him sympathetic looks and they continue to eat. Cyrus asks about Ariel, he seriously loves that kid. Andi says she's doing great and he promises to visit her soon.

The day continues uneventful. He ends up going to his dad's and then goes home.

After dinner there's a knock on his door. It's TJ. And Cyrus hates the way his heart starts beating 10x faster. For a while minute they just stare at each other.

"I missed you today" TJ finally says.

"I wasn't hiding. I'm right here" last night he wouldn't even kiss him, which he understands why, yet here he is looking at him with puppy eyes, as if asking for something and Cyrus has no idea what it is. Lately he feels like he needs to wear a shield when with TJ, always scared of getting hurt. Which is kind of stupid because TJ never promised him anything.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure" Cyrus steps aside letting him in. " Is everything okay?"

"No, nothing is okay!" Cyrus has never seen TJ look so frustrated

 

"Hey, what happened?" He asks getting closer to his friend.

"I love you" TJ says staring straight into his eyes. For a moment Cyrus is confused.

"Yeah, I love you too, but what is going on?" TJ starts shaking his head.

"You don't get it... I love you" is he saying what Cyrus thinks he's saying? "I love you. Not like how I love amber or how you love Andi and buddy. I love you like I love Emma and that's the problem!" By the end of the phase he's almost screaming and after he's done he just stared at the floor. Cyrus is at a loss of words.

TJ just told him everything he's always wanted to hear. But seeing how troubled TJ looks and thinking how fucked up this whole situation is, he really can't appreciate it as much as he wants to.

Not knowing what to say still, he hugs his best friend, the man he loves, the man he always loved and now the man who loved him back just as much.

"It's okay" he whispers to TJ. He's not are what he's saying 'it's okay' to. Maybe because deep down he always knew his feelings were reciprocated but accepted that TJ would never leave Emma.

"No, it's not" TJ says letting go of Cyrus. "I don't know what to do,I don't know how to feel..."

"It's okay" Cyrus repeats "I won't make you choose. Even when I love you too, always have. But you're engaged, and getting married pretty soon. J know you love her and that's okay"

"I'm not sure I want to get married anymore..." TJ barely whispers.

Cyrus is about to say something but is cut off by TJ's lips on his.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

TJ'S POV

 

"I need to leave again" TJ says the next morning whole playing with Cyrus' hair, laying in Cyrus' bed.

"Why?" Cyrus asks, making TJ stop touching him by looking up to look at his face.

" I need sometime away from everyone. I need to think about what I really want. Both you and Em don't deserve all this back and forth"

"So, you're not going back to her?" Cyrus asks laying his head in TJ's chest again.

"I have to let her know what I'm doing, but no, I'm not staying in L.A"

"I'm going to miss you"

"I'm going to kiss you too".

 

Thanks for offering to beta it ❤️

lotte hompes  
Sun, Jun 2, 12:51 PM  
to me

Hi,  
I read the chapter and really liked it! I also edited some things. I wasn't sure if the kiss in the last sentence was deliberate or not so I kept it the way it was. Here is the edited version.

TJ's POV

 

"amber's birthday is next week, I'm going to Shadyside, can you come?" Emma had gotten the role on the audition and she had already started shooting.

"Sorry baby, I can't, I'm filming everyday next week. How long will you stay?" After the fight, they had been better than ever, but TJ was actually scared to go without her. Because that meant a lot more alone time with Cyrus.

"I'm not sure "

The next day he buys his ticket and sends it to Cyrus. He gets a reply almost immediately. It's a smiley Cyrus with smiley emoji's.

They talk some more and Cyrus ends up telling TJ he would pick him up at the airport tomorrow.

 

\------------------------------------

The next day

 

TJ is very excited to go home. He's surprising Amber, she doesn't know he's coming. He's also very happy to see Cyrus again, but is very afraid too. Finally admitting to himself that he had feelings for his best friend has been a scary experience, and now that he knows how he really feels, he can't do anything about it because he loves Emma and is going to marry her in less than a month.

After getting his bags TJ starts searching for Cyrus, until he finally does find him.

"Cyrus, my man!"

"Teej, looking good"

Cyrus helps TJ with his bags as they go to his car.

"Is everything ready for the surprise party?" TJ asks Cyrus. It was going to be Amber's 30th anniversary so they all decided, along with his parents, to throw her a party, it had been a long time since they've done that, so everyone was very excited.

"Almost. Actually I need to grab some more balloons on the way to your house if that's okay"

"Yeah, it's fine"

The boys stop at the supermarket they see, grab what they need and continue the journey to TJ's house.

"Here we are, give your mom the balloons please. Do you need any help?"

"Yes, please. Also why don't you come in? My mom loves having you over" and so do I, he adds to himself.

"Sure, why not?"

As they're taking TJ's things , the front door opens.

"Son? I didn't know you were coming. I'm so happy to see you!" Mrs. Kippen rushes to her son and gives him a hug.

""I wanted to make you a surprise too" he says as he hugs her back

 

\----------------------------------

 

 

"Cyrus, honey, are you staying for dinner?" His mom really did love having Cyrus around and TJ definitely wasn't complaining. He had had a nice afternoon. He and Cyrus had spent it with his mom and dad and it was awesome, everyone laughed a lot.

Cyrus looked at TJ as if asking him if he wanted him to stay. TJ smiles and nods.

"Sure" Cyrus answers.

 

\------------------------------------

 

TJ and Cyrus are setting table when the door opens and they hear Amber scream "I'm home", she then talks a little with her parents and finally goes to the kitchen.

"OMG TJ! You're here!" Out of everyone, TJ misses Amber the most when he's away. They've always been very close.

"Of course I'm here, you thought I would miss your birthday?" TJ says while they hug.

"You said you would. Liar." they separate from the hug. "Hi Cy"

"Hey Ambs"

"You knew about this?" Cyrus' only answer is a shrug of shoulders and a laugh. TJ loves his laugh so much. He shakes the thought away. He made the decision to stay with Emma and not act on his feelings for his best friend.

"You little fucker" she tries to seem mad but she's smiling so hard that it's impossible.

Eventually everyone else arrives.

 

\------------------------------------

 

Cyrus' POV

 

"Why don't you stop staring and go talk to him?" Cyrus knows he's been staring for a while now but what was he supposed to do? He had been hanging out with the guy all day, he wanted to give him space to talk with other people.

"And say what Andi? 'hey I know we've spent the last hours talking but I can't stop thinking about you, pay attention to me', no I don't think so" sometime Cyrus wishes he could kiss TJ right here in front of everyone, but that's never going to happen and he knows it.

"I guess you don't have to say anything" she says and walks away, only then Cyrus notices TJ walking towards him.

"Hey" TJ says and smiles.

"Hi"

"You look great tonight" he whispers in Cyrus' ear.

His heart skips a beat. He doesn't know what to say, he had no expectations for tonight concerning TJ. He thought that what happened last time the boy was here was maybe just remembering old times. Now he wasn't so sure.

He takes a deep breath, gives him a small smile and answers.

"Thanks."

"Come with me." he grabs Cyrus' hand and leads him up the stairs to his old room.

"What are we doing here?"

"Maybe I just want to spend some alone time with my best friend." Cyrus nods "Remember the first time we got drunk here?" he smiles at the memory.

 

Flashback (2018 - they were 18 years old)

 

"You know what? I think this is the most rebel thing we've ever done" they were 18, so, not old enough to be allowed to drink, but summer vacations hadn't been that eventful and they just wanted to have some fun.

"It really is but who cares? So, what do you want to try first? We've got beer, vodka, scotch..." TJ says.

"Let's start with beer, we have all night"

 

2 hours later

 

They were definitely drunk. Everything was suddenly funny. Cyrus felt like dancing and TJ was singing random songs. He was actually a very good singer.

"We should play a game" TJ said all of a sudden.

"What game?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Are you serious?" Cyrus never liked truth or dare, it made him anxious.

"Truth or dare Cyrus?"

"Truth"

"Who, here, would you like to make out with?" What?

"TJ you're the only person here"

"You still have to answer"

"Okay whatever. You." it's not like they haven't been making out for a couple of years anyway.

"Truth or dare Cy?"

"I think it's my turn now Teej" the other guy just shakes his head no. He asks again. "Dare" Cyrus finally says. TJ smirks.

"I dare you to kiss me"

"If you wanted me to kiss you, you could have said so"

"What would be the fun in that?" Drunk TJ was weird but also kind of funny. "So, are you going to kiss me or what?"

 

\-------------------------------------

 

"Truth or dare?" Cyrus asks with a smile. He can tell by TJ's face that he was’nt expecting the question. He gives Cyrus a 'seriously?' look and the boy nods.

"Truth"

"Who, here, would you most like to make out with?"

"You're not playing fair" somehow they have gotten closer.

"We never do. You haven't answered my question" Cyrus was trying to look confident but he was freaking out inside.

"You"

"Truth or dare TJ?"

"Dare"

"I dare you to kiss me" it's all he wanted to do since he picked him up at the airport.

TJ steps even more close.

"If you wanted me to kiss you, you could have said so"

"What would be the fun in that?" They're so close that their lips are almost touching. Still TJ takes his time. His eyes shift from Cyrus' lips and eyes. Then he puts his hand on Cy's cheek.

"We can't do this" TJ says pushing away, Cyrus can't even hide the disappointment, but he understands, he shouldn't even have tried to put the moves on him in the first place. "Sorry."

"Don't be. It was my fault..." They stand in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes and Cyrus just wants to run. What was he thinking? Just because TJ said he looked good, that they were going to make out?

"Look, it's not that I don't want to, it's just th-" TJ starts explaining but Cyrus cuts him off.

"You can't. I get it. Forget I said or did anything" now Cyrus feels really bad. He was never in favour of cheating yet here he was throwing himself onto an almost married man. But it wasn't just his fault though. TJ had been sending mixed signals ever since they started talking again. This whole situation was a mess.

"Sorry." TJ says lowering his head.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry. Let's just forget it okay?"

"Okay"

They go downstairs and Cyrus searches for Andi and Buffy. They make lunch plans for the next day and then Cyrus decides to leave. He says goodbye to Amber wishing her a happy birthday for the last time.

On his way home he can't stop thinking about what happened between him and TJ. He wishes he could just press a button and stop having those feelings for the other guy. It's not good for anyone. Still he can't stop wondering if he actually wanted to kiss him back...

Cyrus didn't get much sleep that night.

 

\------------------------------------

 

"So how are things between you and TJ?" Buffy asks over lunch.

"I don't really know. I mean, we're friends I guess, sometimes it's just like before and other times it's just weird. It's like we don't know how to act around each other anymore" having him back in his life has been a whole new life experience. It's like getting to know someone all over again. Before, he would look at TJ and know exactly what he wanted or needed, now he just doesn't know.

"That's normal Cy, in no time it will be just like in high school" Andi, always the optimist.

"Yeah until he leaves again" back to her...

The girls give him sympathetic looks and they continue to eat. Cyrus asks about Ariel, he seriously loves that kid. Andi says she's doing great and he promises to visit her soon.

The day continues uneventful. He ends up going to his dad's and then goes home.

After dinner there's a knock on his door. It's TJ. And Cyrus hates the way his heart starts beating 10x faster. For a while minute they just stare at each other.

"I missed you today" TJ finally says.

"I wasn't hiding. I'm right here" last night he wouldn't even kiss him, which he understands why, yet here he is looking at him with puppy eyes, as if asking for something and Cyrus has no idea what it is. Lately he feels like he needs to wear a shield when with TJ, always scared of getting hurt. Which is kind of stupid because TJ never promised him anything.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure" Cyrus steps aside letting him in. "Is everything okay?"

"No, nothing is okay!" Cyrus has never seen TJ look so frustrated

 

"Hey, what happened?" He asks getting closer to his friend.

"I love you" TJ says staring straight into his eyes. For a moment Cyrus is confused.

"Yeah, I love you too, but what is going on?" TJ starts shaking his head.

"You don't get it... I love you" Is he saying what Cyrus thinks he's saying? "I love you. Not like how I love amber or how you love Andi and Buffy. I love you like I love Emma and that's the problem!" By the end of the phrase he's almost screaming and after he's done he just stared at the floor. Cyrus is at a loss of words.

TJ just told him everything he's always wanted to hear. But seeing how troubled TJ looks and thinking how fucked up this whole situation is, he really can't appreciate it as much as he wants to.

Not knowing what to say still, he hugs his best friend, the man he loves, the man he always loved and now the man who loved him back just as much.

"It's okay" he whispers to TJ. He's not are what he's saying 'it's okay' to. Maybe because deep down he always knew his feelings were reciprocated but accepted that TJ would never leave Emma.

"No, it's not" TJ says letting go of Cyrus. "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel..."

"It's okay" Cyrus repeats "I won't make you choose. Even when I love you too, always have. But you're engaged, and getting married pretty soon. I know you love her and that's okay"

"I'm not sure I want to get married anymore..." TJ barely whispers.

Cyrus is about to say something but is cut off by TJ's lips on his.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

TJ'S POV

 

"I need to leave again" TJ says the next morning whole playing with Cyrus' hair, laying in Cyrus' bed.

"Why?" Cyrus asks, making TJ stop touching him by looking up to look at his face.

"I need sometime away from everyone. I need to think about what I really want. Both you and Em don't deserve all this back and forth"

"So, you're not going back to her?" Cyrus asks laying his head on TJ's chest again.

"I have to let her know what I'm doing, but no, I'm not staying in L.A."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too."


	8. Important Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TJ finds a familiar face

Chapter 8: Important decisions

TJ’s POV

“Hey Kippen, what are you doing around here?”

  
It had been a couple of weeks since he left Shadyside, since he left Cyrus and Emma. Two weeks since he dropped everything and took some time to himself to think about his future. Emma didn’t react very well to the news (“Are you serious? You’ve got to be kidding me? Since when has this been going on? I knew it!” were some of the stuff she said when TJ explained why he was doing this road trip by himself. He has to be honest with her. For a moment it felt like she was going to end it right there but she actually kind of understood and let him go saying that she would be waiting for him when he came back, and that would’ve been cute if the tone of her voice didn’t sound like she already knew TJ was going to stay with her). He had been avoiding everybody’s texts even Cyrus’, he knew the boy was worried, but of TJ started talking to him, he wouldn’t be able to stop, and right now he just needed to think. He had been to London, Italy, France and now he was in Greece. And the last person he thought he’d see here, was Kira.

  
“Oh hey, I could ask you the same thing” TJ and Kira hadn’t really talked since middle school, they would exchange ‘hey’ and ‘what’s up’ every once in a while in a High School but nothing more than that, Kira hadn’t exactly been a good person in middle school, and the things she had done to him and his friends were not cool, Cyrus avoided him for weeks because of her, and TJ was so oblivious and naïve that he never realized what was really going on. After all she did apologize, and all was good, but TJ was never able to trust her.

  
“I’m enjoying some vacation so next season my Team can kick your asses again”

  
“You won one game against me, don’t go thinking I can’t kick your ass anytime I want”

  
“Wanna bet?” she asks looking at a basketball field right in front of them.

  
“Why not?”  
And so they play, and Kira wins, but only because TJ’s mind is too busy.

  
“Okay Kippen, spill it out. What’s going on with you, you made it too easy for me”

  
“Sorry Kira, but I don’t really want to share my problems with you…”

  
“Okay, I deserved that one, but honestly, get over yourself. Everyone was able to forgive me, even your little boyfriend, Buffy is actually my friend. I’m not here as your enemy anymore, I’m actually trying to be your friend, you look like you need one.” What she said made sense, even though she was still here and she kind of got on his nerves, like for example, she knew TJ was engaged but was still calling Cyrus his boyfriend, and she was doing it on purpose, just to annoy him, but he could see she was indeed a better person.

  
So he told him everything, everything since they were kids until now. He told him how things with Cyrus pretty much ended when they went to college and how he met Emma and asked her to marry him because it felt like it was time to do so and he loved her. He also told him how he had go back to Shadyside and everything, every feeling had come crushing back to him and that he had no idea what to do.

  
“Wow, you do have a lot to think about, but do you really?” what?

  
“What do you mean?”

  
“Kippen, you’ve always been too far gone on that boy, even now, the look on your face when you talk about him…is everything compared to when you look when you’re talking about the women you say you love.  
You want to know what I think? You don’t love her, not really, you love the feeling of security that you have when it comes to her, you love to know that there’s someone waiting for you when you come home, after a game or a trip, you love the familiarity that is being with her, but you’re not in love with her, at least not anymore, not like how you’re in love with him, and you always were. I saw it happen right in front of me, that boy didn’t even need to say a word, he just needed to be there for you to give him those heart eyes you have, all the time. You two have been through a lot, especially with everything you just told him. I think your fear is to break the familiarity of your relationship with Emma, which is perfectly normal and it’s okay to be scared, but the heart wants what it wants.” After that TJ is speechless. Kira is right about a lot of things, if not everything.

  
“Thank you Kira, you actually helped.” he says hugging her and then starts walking away.

  
“Don’t sound so surprised!” he hears the girl scream and laughs to himself.

  
Cyrus’ POV

“Are you going to tell us why you’ve been so anxious for the past two weeks, you keep staring at your phone and being disappointed for whatever you’re hoping for it’s not there” He always thought Buffy would be the first to break but it turned out to be Andi. He knows he’s been acting weird, but it’s been a while since TJ left and he has had 0 news about the man and he’s starting to worry, especially because he’s not answering his texts.

  
“I’m sorry, it’s nothing really, don’t worry”

  
“It definitely is something, what’s going on Cy?” He thought about it for a while, deciding whether or not he should tell Buffy and Andi the truth about everything. Screw it, I’m gonna tell them, Cyrus thinks, they would end up finding out either way.

  
“Guys, there’s a lot you don’t know about my and TJ’s relationship…” and so he tells them everything and the shocked faces his best friends are wearing almost makes him laugh, but this is serious. Suddenly he finds himself telling them things he didn’t even remember…

_Flashback (2016- 16 years old)_

  
_Cyrus was scared that after his first kiss with TJ that things would be weird, so he was very anxious to go to his best friend’s house today._

 

_“Hey, underdog.” TJ said with the same smile he always had so he thought that everything was back to normal, there was nothing to worry about, right?_

  
_“Hi teej.” both of them go in the house and to TJ’s leaving room._

  
_They play some video games, talk about school, eat some snacks and decide on watching a documentary on Netflix. After a few minutes TJ lays his head on Cyrus’ lap. The brunnete tenses at first, not expecting his best friend to do that, but immediately relaxes. On a moment of confidence Cyrus starts playing with TJ’s hair, he thinks that may have been a bad idea because the blonde boy turns to stare right at Cyrus’ face, still with his head on his lap._

  
_“Is something wrong?” Cyrus asks._

  
_“Kiss me again?” Cyrus just stares for a while thinking that he must have heard it wrong but then the other boy lifts his head a little so his looking directly at Cyrus and he knows he heard perfectly right. He’s so nervous, this is all he ever wanted, to be with TJ, to kiss him whenever he wanted…but last time TJ brushed it off like it was nothing serious, so Cyrus had no idea what to think, still he leaned in and so did TJ and before they knew it they were kissing, it was just an innocent kiss, it lasted about 5 seconds, but when it ends both boys have huge grins on their faces._

  
_They don’t say anything and TJ adjusts himself on Cyrus’ legs so his attention is back on the documentary. This was when Cyrus knew that as long as they were alone, TJ was all his._

  
“Wow Cy…why didn’t you say anything?” Buffy asks once he’s done explaining everything.

  
“It wasn’t just my secret to tell, besides, it was kind of fun the way we were sneaking around and no one knew, it’s not fun anymore, shit just got real, and now I haven’t heard from him in two weeks, which is okay, I know he wanted some space from everyone, but I just want to know if he’s okay.” The girls nod, still taking it all in.

  
“He’ll reach out to you once he’s ready, give him some time, from what I’ve heard, TJ has been bottleling down his feelings for a very long time, so obviously he’s going to need time to come to terms with everything he is now letting himself feel, does that make sense?” Buffy and TJ didn’t start their friendship on the right foot, but as time went on they became really good friends, and even though she would never know TJ the way Cyrus did, she knew him well enough and she was always the voice of reason, so of course she was right.

  
“Yeah, it does, you’re right, as always” Just as he says this, he gets a text.

 **From: Teej**  
**To: Cyrus**  
**‘Hey, sorry for not saying anything sooner, I had a lot on my mind. I’m okay, I’ll be back soon’**

  
**From: Cyrus**  
**To: Teej**  
**‘How soon is soon? I miss you’**

“Who is it? What’s up?” Andi asks.

  
“It’s TJ, just letting me know he’s okay and that he’ll be back soon, he didn’t tell me what he decided though, so I guess I’ll just have to wait and hope” Part of him was hopeful TJ would come back to him, so they could have a chance at the relationship they should have started years ago, but the other part was sure he was going to go back to Emma, it seemed the most reasonable choice…

  
“Hey, what’s with the pouty face? No matter what happens, he loves you and he’ll always be your best friend.” Again, Buffy is right. No matter what TJ will always be in his life, one way or another, and that’s what really matters. If TJ comes back deciding that Emma is the one person he wants by his side forever, Cyrus will be sad obviously, but he will stand by his side, always.

  
The one thing on his mind now was the fact that the wedding was an week away, so…when will TJ be back?

 

One Week Later.

“Cyrus are you ready?” This was it, today was the day of TJ’s wedding, Cyrus hadn’t heard from the boy since they texted a week ago and he said he would be back soon. They never thought about what would happen if he wasn’t back by now. Emma had been in Shadyside for two days now, and had been glaring at Cyrus every time she saw him, which he kind of understood why, TJ had probably told her about them so…yeah.

  
So the wedding hadn’t been cancelled and here he was, getting ready for the wedding of the love of his life.

  
“As ready as I’ll ever be, let’s get this thing done with” He tells his best friends as they walk to the door to leave. The thing he was more afraid of was that he would get in the church and TJ would be there, ready to get married, without saying a word to Cyrus.

  
“You’ll be okay” Buffy assures him.

  
“Can we talk?” Someone says as soon as he opens his front door.


End file.
